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The great City of Syracuse has been called many things. It has been called "The Salt City," "The Home of Champions," "The Place Where Clouds Go to Die," and even "That place where I tried like hell to find Dinosaur Bar-B-Que and just gave up." But in 2015, a potential new moniker for this place that we love has been born, compliments of The Washington Post's Chuck Culpepper:
Column on the Sweet 16 with a characterization of Syracuse that I've personally never heard: http://t.co/kHT367219V pic.twitter.com/Hl5DWhsAUg
— Jesse Dougherty (@dougherty_jesse) March 25, 2015
Now, I feel like I have a pretty solid knowledge of Syracuse AND Jim Boeheim, and I'm pretty sure I've heard "Jim Boeheim's Hollywood" somewhere between zero and none times. Yeah, there was that awesome and slightly ironic cameo in Blue Chips, however "Syracuse," "Jim Boeheim" and "Hollywood" are three things that don't intuitively go together.
But I'm going to give Chuck some slack, because according to his bio, he has lived in the United States, United Kingdom and the United Arab Emirates among other places, and with that kind of worldliness, one is bound to hear "Jim Boeheim's Hollywood" in a spice market in Dubai, or a local pub in Lancashire at some point...
So what is Jim Boeheim's Hollywood, exactly? And more specifically how does it compare with Hollywood's Hollywood? Let's take a look at the facts, assess whether our beloved city is more like tinseltown that we realized, and determine whether this new "a.k.a" has the kind of #brand strength to stand the test of time:
Both feature inane "effects" that are in no apparent way linked, and are only there to take as much money as possible from teenagers. PUSH
Coppola stained, but didn’t ruin a franchise. ADVANTAGE SYRACUSE
Until they serve a Hofmann’s Coney on the famous hillside… ADVANTAGE SYRACUSE
Both were long, suspense-filled thrill fests. Yet killing UConn was so much more enjoyable than that big friggin’ shark. ADVANTAGE SYRACUSE
With deep respect to Orson Welles I’ll take this image over an old sled anytime…
ADVANTAGE SYRACUSE
‘the Chateau’ is "the place you must party at before you die". Club 44 is the place you must party at before you "spin" your recent demotion at work. ADVANTAGE HOLLYWOOD
Once mocked, both have stood the test of time. Now everyone is trying to copy their winning formula. PUSH
I’m sorry, an Apple Store and "Toby Keith’s ‘I Love This’ Bar and Grill" don’t even compare… ADVANTAGE HOLLYWOOD
You can say what you want about Clark Gable and Gary Cooper, NO ONE had dreamier eyes than Brandon Triche. ADVANTAGE SYRACUSE
One marked the triumph of a nominally talented actor over an ensemble of legends. The other marked the embarrassment of a legend by a nominally-talented former AD who is a legend only in his own mind. ADVANTAGE SYRACUSE
One was a misunderstood youth who developed penchant for pissing off the entire galaxy in his later years. Actually, both were a misunderstood youth who developed a penchant for pissing off the entire galaxy… PUSH
Until you have had a ‘Moon Over My Hammy’, you haven’t truly lived. ADVANTAGE HOLLYWOOD
So there you have it! It appears that Jim Boeheim's Hollywood is, in fact, more Hollywood than Hollywood. So Chuck Culpepper is on to something here. Yet while the intent of the quote is well founded, perhaps we should turn this thing around in a manner that is more appropriate:
"Hollywood, a.k.a California's Syracuse"