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Why Syracuse football will finish 9-3 in 2023

Everyone’s favorite prognosticators return

Everyone loves Otto
Caroline Darney

Ed. Note — As has become tradition, TNIAAM writers will tell you all week why and how this year’s Syracuse Orange football team will finish with certain W-L records. These projections will be more pleasing as we go along and we will all give our actual predictions for the season next week.

Back by popular demand are the TNIAAM pets. They are forced to listen to a lot of Syracuse talk so they wanted to once again bring the fans their 2023 football predictions. There’s a lot of optimism with this group as they know that winning football games means happier Saturdays and more treats and belly rubs.

Let’s get to their picks....

Colgate Raiders - Win (1-0, 0-0)

Charlie: Toothpaste doesn’t seem scary. You squeeze it and then it oozes out so the Orange guys should just grab them and squish them until the ball pops free then they take it and run the other way. Seems easy enough.

Western Michigan Broncos- Win (2-0, 0-0)

Fergus: Do I even have to wake up for this one? These horses aren’t very active- they must be tired from kids. I can relate to that. Anyway tell the Otto guys to make this quick so I can get a longer nap.

at Purdue Boilermakers-Win (3-0, 0-0)

Ruby: Creepy face guy has a loud drum and a big hammer. I hear about the Hammers on weekends but it’s always followed by laughter and “Hammers are blowing it again”. The Hammer guys must not be very good which means they won’t hit that drum often. I think my pal Otto wins.

Army Knights- Win (4-0, 0-0)

James Arthur: Hey guys. Had to come back for more picks. So I’m told these soldier guys are coming up the Hudson River but they can’t do their funny runs anymore. That’s a shame because running is lots of fun. Oh well winning is fun too and Syracuse wins which means extra treats.

James Happy

Clemson Tigers - Win (5-0, 1-0)

Luna: These Tigers look funny. Why’s the guy pulling his pants up so high? He looks angry all the time. Probably doesn’t get enough belly rubs.

at North Carolina Tar Heels- Loss (5-1, 1-1)

James Arthur: I’m not supposed to tell you that we have a lot of this Tarheel stuff around the house. I thought maybe it was a mistake that the Rams were in Chargers powder blue....those horns look like they hurt so the Otto guys should avoid them.

at Florida State Seminoles- Loss (5-2, 1-2)

Ruby: Horses can be scary when you are small like me and fire is too hot to go close to so a fire horse is something I don’t want to be around.

at Virginia Tech Hokies- Win (6-2, 2-2)

For this one, we brought in a special guest from Charlottesville as Virginia Cavaliers fan Bennett joins for this pick.

Bennett: I know we don’t always get along but we can agree that these turkeys are the worst. Hokey Pokey this and gobble gobble that. Can’t stand them so I told the Becks I’d wear this shirt as long as they win this game. Don’t make me regret this.

Caroline Darney

Boston College Eagles- Win (7-2, 3-2)

Charlie: It’s a big, loud bird, but it’s still a bird. And it’s trapped inside so it can’t get away in this one. Orange guys prevail in this one when they knock the bird down as it tries to fly over their heads.

Pittsburgh Panthers- Loss (7-3, 3-3)

Fergus: The big city is too noisy. All the cars and trains and people. Now there are Panthers too. Why couldn’t we just stay home instead?

at Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets - Win (8-3, 4-3)

Luna: Bees are fun to chase. They zoom around the yard and it’s tough to catch them, but if you are running at them and they run away, it means they won’t catch you either. Whoever gets tired first will lose so make sure to drink water and be ready to run.

Wake Forest Demon Deacons- Win (9-3, 5-3)

Group consensus: No way this cranky old dude can be better than the Orange. He can’t bring his motorcycle on the plane so how’s he supposed to get up and down the field? Make sure Otto has their scooter and it should be an easy win.


What a great group of good boys and girls making these picks. Did they do the best job once again this year?