Why Syracuse football will finish 5-7 in 2023

Ed. Note — As has become tradition, TNIAAM writers will tell you all week why and how this year’s Syracuse Orange football team will finish with certain W-L records. These projections will be more pleasing as we go along and we will all give our actual predictions for the season next week.

• Monday: 4-8 (Christian)
• Tuesday: 5-7 (Kevin)
• Wednesday: 6-6 (Steve)
• Thursday: 7-5 (Dom)
• Friday: 8-4 (Mike)
• Saturday 9-3 (Special Guest)

This might be the worst possible outcome for the direction of the Syracuse program so let’s dive right in shall we...

Colgate Raiders - Win (1-0, 0-0)

Syracuse takes the opening kickoff and marches down the field and LeQuint Allen gets the first touchdown of the year. With a 30-point lead at the half, Dino Babers turns it over to the back-ups and we see a bit of history as the Escobar brothers both score fourth-quarter touchdowns.

Western Michigan Broncos- Win (2-0, 0-0)

It takes a little longer for the Orange to pull away and as a result Garrett Shrader is in the game late in the 3rd quarter when he takes a hit on his left shoulder while scrambling. The Dome crowd frantically turns to their phones for an update but all they can get are ads for Cheech and Chong gummies.

at Purdue Boilermakers-Loss (2-1, 0-0)

A primetime game offers Syracuse a chance to make a statement. Unfortunately a blocked field goal turns the momentum towards Purdue and a late Orange drive is ended by a tipped-pass interception.

Army Knights- Win (3-1, 0-0)

On a positive note, the team bounces back from last week’s disappointment and plays a smart, disciplined game to defeat Army. The cadets have no answer for Oronde Gadsden II as he hauls in three touchdown receptions in the win.

Clemson Tigers - Loss (3-2, 0-1)

Most schools use Homecoming to schedule a win and draw a bigger crowd for a lesser-named opponent. Syracuse decides they will just spit in the face of the Clemson program by choosing them as the Homecoming opponent. Dabo finally gets a big win over Dino and spends the post-game talking about #Disrespekt

at North Carolina Tar Heels- Loss (3-3, 0-2)

The Syracuse season is sliding down hill faster than a VPA freshman in front of Crouse College on the night of the first snowfall. Drake Maye shreds the 3-3-5 with some timely deep passes and Shrader’s refusal to run the ball makes Dino’s pre-game comments that his QB1 is 100% seem hollow.

Photo by Jordon Kelly/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

at Florida State Seminoles- Loss (3-4, 0-3)

Things have gone from bad to worse as not only do the Seminoles hang 40 on the Orange, but former target Jared Verse is seen on the sideline playing Hangman with Scott Shafer. We shut down the comments on the game thread when someone suggests Adam Weitsman be named Chancellor/Athletic Director and that he should appoint Jim Boeheim as Interim HC.

at Virginia Tech Hokies- Loss (3-5, 0-4)

The Syracuse snowball has caught fire, rolled into a ditch and exploded all while Enter Sandman plays on repeat. Exit light on this season

Boston College Eagles- Win (4-5, 1-4)

BC fans aren’t too disappointed as this can put an end to the Jeff Hafley era. As he prepares to join Martin Jarmond back at Ohio State next season, bowl hopes are back alive in CNY.

Photo by Quinn Harris/Getty Images

Pittsburgh Panthers- Loss (4-6, 1-5)

Even naming Prince Tyson-Gulley as an honorary captain can’t change the Syracuse fortunes in the Bronx. A sloppy field causes three missed field goals, the last one coming on a 4th and 1 with Syracuse trailing by two points. Dino Babers defends his decision saying he felt good about his guy making it.

at Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets - Loss (4-7, 1-6)

It ends not in glory in Charlotte but a dreary Saturday afternoon in an empty Bobby Dodd Stadium. Shrader enters this game with a sling on his left arm and Carlos Del-Rio Wilson isn’t able to move the ball consistently. We close the game thread comments when someone says Outkast is overrated.

Wake Forest Demon Deacons- Win (5-7, 2-6)

The Scott Shafer Send-Off as a fired Dino Babers is allowed to coach a final home game. Syracuse rallies around their coach and upsets Wake on Senior Day. After the win, scenes of Babers hugging Shrader and Gadsden are replayed and the Orange focus not on a bowl, but on an expedited search for a new HC who can keep a promising 2024 recruiting class together.

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Like him or not, this result would not be ideal for the short-term success of the Syracuse program. Firing Dino could lead to an exodus of players, recruits and coaches all while the Orange are investing a lot of money in facilities upgrades. Would there be enough to land an up-and-coming Head Coach? Can Syracuse pivot quick enough to avoid losing talented young players? Do you trust that there’s a contingency plan in place for this scenario?

The good news is it gets better the rest of the week.