#FakeNunes previews Syracuse vs Wagner

It’s Wednesday, so you know what that means... time for the blog that gives you the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- it’s #FakeNunes time. Have we found some creative ways to get #jokesandgarbage into a Syracuse Orange preview? Probably not but if one of you chuckles this is a success in our book.

Now onto this week’s opponent

Opponent: Wagner Seahawks

Location: Staten Island, NY

Students: 1,750 students who wish their school had never left Rochester

The 2022 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)

We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.

NEW Rivalry Trophy

The FNSI staff realized that some of what’s missing in these games is that the Orange aren’t playing for any rivalry trophies and they are out to fix that injustice. Each week the winner of the FNSI will get to take home a new trophy. This week we give you

The Charley Loeb Ridiculously Good-Looking Trophy

This blog’s favorite Orange quarterback had his career-best passing game against Wagner back in 2013. I mean this pose is certainly worth immortalizing.

Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images

The Great One Hair Factor

In order to maintain our status as #CanadasCollegeTeam, each week we look at who is wearing #99 and determine who has the better salad.

Elijah Fuentes-Cundiff gets onto the two-deep this week which is the good news. Bad news is that he can’t match Shakim Douglas’ flow.

Advantage: Wagner

Notable Alum

Bringing back this one as we love to drop some knowledge every now and then to help our loyal readers possibly win a trivia night. After all we are the Syracuse blog that loves you back and we take that seriously.

We were going to make this Rich Kotite vs Tom Coughlin in a battle of former New York NFL head coaches but then we discovered Phil Thies and well..

Advantage: Wagner

Football Program Hashtag:

None vs None

This is a battle between New York’s College Team and Staten Island’s College Team and since Staten Island is part of New York this feels like the seeds of an uprising

Advantage: Push

Linebackers Coach Looks Like:

Fans of the LeBatard Show might know this game, it’s where we guess what is the best description for a position coach from each team. This year’s choice will be linebackers coach. This week’s match-up:

Tony Brinson looks like the Dad in an ABC sitcom who just can’t understand why his teenagers spent their weekends making Tik-Toks.

Tony White looks like the no-nonsense Police lieutenant from NBC’s 10th drama based in Chicago.

Advantage: Syracuse because Chicago shows are sure to outlast Tik Tok

The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction

Orange fans finally see Sean Tucker break a long touchdown run. Then Garrett Shrader does the same. After that it’s Courtney Jackson on a jet sweep and then LeQuint Allen gets into the act. Finally in the 4th quarter Syracuse fans are rewarded for staying in the Dome when Dino finally decides to #SendVillari.

Orange win 57-5