#FakeNunes previews Syracuse vs Virginia

It’s Wednesday, so you know what that means... time for the blog that gives you the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- it’s #FakeNunes time. Have we found some creative ways to get #jokesandgarbage into a Syracuse Orange preview? Probably not but if one of you chuckles this is a success in our book.

Now onto this week’s opponent

Opponent: Virginia Cavaliers

Location: Charlottesville, VA

Students: 17, 076 students who can’t wait for basketball season so they can see some offense

The 2022 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)

We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.

NEW Rivalry Trophy

The FNSI staff realized that some of what’s missing in these games is that the Orange aren’t playing for any rivalry trophies and they are out to fix that injustice. Each week the winner of the FNSI will get to take home a new trophy. This week we give you

The Three Goggles Trophy Game

Come on folks..you had to see this one coming right?

Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

The Great One Hair Factor

In order to maintain our status as #CanadasCollegeTeam, each week we look at who is wearing #99 and determine who has the better salad.

Elijah Fuentes-Cundiff gets to put his strong beard game to work again this week as Keytaon Johnson brings a pretty weak attempt at a beard.

Advantage: Syracuse

Notable Alum

Bringing back this one as we love to drop some knowledge every now and then to help our loyal readers possibly win a trivia night. After all we are the Syracuse blog that loves you back and we take that seriously.

Katie Couric vs Jeff Glor

It’s the battle of former CBS network news anchors this week. Since Katie had a longer run as the CBS Evening News anchor by three years she gets the nod.

Advantage: Virginia

Football Program Hashtag:

None vs #GoHoos

Simple and clean.

Advantage: Virginia

Linebackers Coach Looks Like:

Fans of the LeBatard Show might know this game, it’s where we guess what is the best description for a position coach from each team. This year’s choice will be linebackers coach. This week’s match-up (now easier to compare thanks to Michael’s discovery of the image slider):

Clint Sintim looks like the high school principal in a movie who will remind the kids in detention that he was once in their shoes and it’s their choice how the rest of their life will go

Tony White looks like the local cop in a movie who tells the kids that their principal spent time in juvie before he turned his life around

Advantage: Virginia because the movie cop doesn’t get to hand out diplomas at the end of the movie

The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction

Virginia starts off fast behind Brennan Armstrong but White’s blitzes start getting home and the Cavaliers struggle. Syracuse finally springs Sean Tucker for a long run and then a blocked punt puts the Orange ahead for good. Fans head home happy with Robert Anae’s decision to throw to Wes Hoeh down near the end zone. Students go crazy square-dancing in the bleachers for the Hoeh (Touch) Down as Syracuse puts away their should-be rivals.