It’s Wednesday, so you know what that means... time for the blog that gives you the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- it’s #FakeNunes time. Have we found some creative ways to get #jokesandgarbage into a Syracuse Orange preview? Probably not but if one of you chuckles this is a success in our book.
Now onto this week’s opponent
Opponent: Purdue Boilermakers
Location: West Lafayette, IN
Students: 49,639 students who know Jeff Brohm’s going to leave them one day
The 2022 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)
We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.
NEW Rivalry Trophy
The FNSI staff realized that some of what’s missing in these games is that the Orange aren’t playing for any rivalry trophies and they are out to fix that injustice. Each week the winner of the FNSI will get to take home a new trophy. This week we give you
The Buckethead Trophy Game
Did you know Dino Babers nicknamed his daughter “Old Oaken Bucket Head” because she was born on the day of the Old Oaken Bucket Game? Well we aren’t calling Ms. Babers by that name but we have decided that Purdue and Syracuse will play for the honor of hosting a future half-time show from guitarist Buckethead
The Great One Hair Factor
In order to maintain our status as #CanadasCollegeTeam, each week we look at who is wearing #99 and determine who has the better salad.
This week Elijah Fuentes-Cundiff gets to put his strong beard game to work. Jack Sullivan from Purdue has quite the stache but it’s not enough this week.
Bringing back this one as we love to drop some knowledge every now and then to help our loyal readers possibly win a trivia night. After all we are the Syracuse blog that loves you back and we take that seriously.
Orville Redenbacher vs Marvin Lender
Popcorn and bagels would be the perfect tailgate pairing for this noon kick. And as much as this is going to anger Mr. Keeley, the staff can’t pass on the popcorn
Football Program Hashtag:
None vs #BoilerUp and #LetsPlayFootball
You had a perfect one Purdue, why add a second one that shows up every now and then?
Linebackers Coach Looks Like:
Fans of the LeBatard Show might know this game, it’s where we guess what is the best description for a position coach from each team. This year’s choice will be linebackers coach. This week’s match-up:
David Elson looks like the financial planner who sponsors your town’s youth soccer program.
Tony White looks like he won’t be satisfied until his team makes everyone in that youth soccer league quit.
Advantage: Purdue because it is possible to take things too far in youth sports
The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction
Purdue brings the big bass drum and decide to park it on the Lawrinson patio. Aidan O’Connell gets fired up early and he joins Garrett Shrader in an aerial assault that the Dome hasn’t seen since last spring’s Aerospace Engineering capstone.
The momentum turns when the Purdue band members watching the drum accept an invite for some chicken riggies and a group of entrepreneurial ESF students wheel the drum into Oakwood Cemetery to jam. Purdue’s offense is stalled just a bit and a tipped pass at the line of scrimmage is grabbed by Justin Barron to set up the winning score as Syracuse survives 34-31.