Why Syracuse football will finish 8-4 in 2022

Ed. Note — As has become tradition, TNIAAM writers will tell you all week why and how this year’s Syracuse Orange football team will finish with certain W-L records. These projections will be more pleasing as we go along and we will all give our actual predictions for the season next week.

• Monday: 3-9 (Kevin)
• Tuesday: 4-8 (Christian)
• Wednesday: 5-7 (Mike)
• Thursday: 6-6 (Steve)
• Friday: 7-5 (Andy)
• Saturday 8-4 (Special Guest)

Ok you’ve reached the weekend and many of you have speculated about our special guest. We saw guesses of Troy Nunes, Doug Marrone and Charley Loeb. A few expected James Arthur but contract negotiations ended when we couldn’t match what the Mets were offering (next year we’ll try a GoFundMe). So we gathered together a group to handle the most optimistic prediction of this exercise.....TNIAAM Pets assemble!

The Nunes Pets got together via zoom to offer their reasons why Syracuse can get 8-4 in 2022 so let’s see what they said about the upcoming season.

Louisville Cardinals- Win (1-0, 1-0)

“Starting the year off with birds. Not sure how you play a game with them since they just fly away when you approach them. It seems like Syracuse should just run right at them with the ball and they will get out of the way.”- Fergus

at UConn Huskies- Win (2-0, 1-0)

“This dog looks kind of sad and maybe that’s what happens when you have war daddies to play with. Tug of war is fun but not as fun as fetch. They don’t seem like they are good at catching long throws so the Orange guys should make it a game of fetch”- Ruby

Photo by Joe Robbins/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Purdue Boilermakers- Loss (2-1, 1-0)

“Whoa that’s a boilermaker. Kind of creepy looking. Not Providence Friar creepy but let’s bury that thing under the grass....wait, being told that it’s not grass and we can’t dig. Always no digging, no stealing donuts, no biting the creepy boiler man. Well no win for your fuzzy Orange ball guys”- Luna

Virginia Cavaliers- Win (3-1, 2-0)

“That guy has a funny hat. Bet I could grab that feather and just knock it around for a few hours. I bet he’ll chase and we can just run and jump all over”- Charlie

Wagner Seahawks - Win (4-1, 2-0)

“Birds again? This bird is only near the water and if it can’t get inside Otto’s House how can it compete?” - Charlie

Bye U- No Contest

NC State Wolfpack - Win (5-1, 3-0)

“I’ve heard the servants tell me that wolves are a bit scary but they say they hear them but never see them. I mean the rabbits come in my yard every day so these wolves probably just yell a lot and hide the rest of the time”- Luna

at Clemson Tigers - Loss (5-2, 3-1)

“Whoa that’s a lot of orange on the field. How do you know who you are supposed to chase? Why don’t they keep running up and down that hill? That looks like it’s more fun to me”- Ruby

Notre Dame Fighting Irish - Win (6-2, 3-1)

“This doesn’t make sense and it’s a great example of negative stereotypes. Everyone knows the Irish don’t really fight that much. They get drunk and start singing really really badly. If this is a night game it should be a Syracuse win because the Irish guys will be lying down and snoring loudly” - Fergus

at Pittsburgh Panthers - Loss (6-3, 3-2)

“Too much water around this stadium. Being around one river is enough, two is a bit risky but going near three rivers? No thank you. Call me next week when there is none of this water around”- Charlie

Florida State Seminoles - Win (7-3, 5-1)

“Since it’s in Otto’s house the horse guy with fire can’t show up. I think that’s a good thing for the Orange guys because fire and horses are scary things. If these Florida guys don’t have the fire horse they will probably run away from the Tucker guy my Dad is always telling to run. I don’t know Tucker but he’s a good listener and should probably get lots of treats” Ruby

Photo by G Fiume/Getty Images

at Wake Forest Demon Deacons - Win (8-3, 5-2)

“Didn’t we play the creepy guy already? This one looks older though and if he has to get on his bike to chase then it seems like he won’t catch the Orange guys when they run away.” -Fergus

at Boston College Eagles - Loss (8-4, 5-3)

“This doesn’t seem like the other birds. It’s huge and loud and kind of scary. We shouldn’t go near it’s home. It doesn’t seem like a good idea. Just go right to the bowl. The bowl has good food and not loud, scary birds” - Luna

“So the humans tells us we get to go to a bowl game and hopefully it’s a food bowl not a water bowl.” -Luna

“Something like the Potato Bowl sounds pretty good. Is there a Chicken and Carrots Bowl?” -Ruby

“Maybe a Laser Pointer Bowl or even better a Salmon Treats Bowl?” - Charlie

“Those sound good but where’s the Squeaker Toy and Steak Bowl? That’s the one I pick”- Fergus

Thanks to the TNIAAM pets for their expert analysis. What do we think of their predictions?