Why Syracuse football will finish 3-9 in 2022

Ed. Note — As has become tradition, TNIAAM writers will tell you all week why and how this year’s Syracuse Orange football team will finish with certain W-L records. These projections will be more pleasing as we go along and we will all give our actual predictions for the season next week.

• Monday: 3-9 (Kevin)
• Tuesday: 4-8 (Christian)
• Wednesday: 5-7 (Mike)
• Thursday: 6-6 (Steve)
• Friday: 7-5 (Andy)
• Saturday 8-4 (Special Guest)

If you’ll just take a deep breath and go along with us on this series you might find a bit of dark humor as we build towards the jubilation of bowl eligibility. I am willing to carry the flag of the brutal season to start off so let’s go.

Louisville Cardinals- Loss (0-1, 0-1)

Syracuse shows off an explosive offense but the young defensive line fails to keep Malik Cunningham in the pocket. Cunningham’s running cause the Orange to devote more attention to him through zone coverage and the Cardinals take advantage. Louisville escapes with a 48-45 win.

at UConn Huskies- Win (1-1, 0-1)

The Orange offense gets rolling on the ground in this one. Robert Anae tries to keep things vanilla and after Sean Tucker heads to the sidelines in the third quarter to rest, LeQuint Allen takes over and records his first 100 yard effort in a blowout win.

Purdue Boilermakers- Loss (1-2, 0-1)

It’s another shootout in the JMA Wireless Dome. Syracuse looks to be in good position to hold on but a 4th-quarter punt is shanked and Purdue takes advantage of a short field to score late and win 41-37.

Virginia Cavaliers- Loss (1-3, 0-2)

Brennan Armstrong shows the world that he doesn’t need the Anae/Beck combination to succeed. He connects with Dontayvion Wicks against Syracuse safeties as fans scream for Garrett Williams to shadow Wicks all over the field. The only positive is that the 53-49 score is higher than the Syracuse-Virginia basketball game.

Wagner Seahawks - Win (2-3, 0-2)

Fans get their wish and we see Carlos Del Rio-Wilson and while he’s dominating the FCS Seahawks we start to see more #SitShrader comments in the game thread and Twitter mentions.

Bye U- No Contest

William Howard-USA TODAY Sports

NC State Wolfpack - Loss (2-4, 0-3)

Bet you’re expecting a shoot out again? Well in this one Babers tries to ride the ground game and rest his defense. NC State is willing to oblige as both defenses are able to hold the line of scrimmage. Syracuse is driving towards a game-winning score but a turnover gives the Wolfpack a two-point win.

at Clemson Tigers - Loss (2-5, 0-4)

Syracuse enters this game with a losing record but having out-scored their opponents by 30 thanks to their blowout wins. The Orange can’t get anything going against the Tigers defensive front so Babers tries to spark the offense by going to CDRW in the 3rd quarter. He finds some magic and hits two deep throws to pull Syracuse within 3. Dabo’s sideline hysterics provide great gif material but Will Shipley ices the game and Clemson escapes 23-14.

Notre Dame Fighting Irish - Loss (2-6, 0-4)

With a new starting quarterback Syracuse hopes to keep their slim bowl game hopes alive in front of a divided Dome crowd. The Orange defense matches the Irish with stop after stop but a missed two-point conversion in the third overtime allows Notre Dame to leave town with a 39-37 win.

Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

at Pitt Panthers - Loss (2-7, 0-5)

Syracuse’s season is spinning out of control at this point. Dino Babers defiantly tells the media “I’m not going anywhere so we’re going to keep fighting and build towards next season”, Some fans start wondering why Syracuse didn’t keep Nathaniel Hackett when Doug Marrone left while others suggest that with Nebraska struggling again that Scott Frost will be available.

Florida State Seminoles - Win (3-7, 1-5)

Babers gives the start to Justin Lamson and he provides an immediate spark in front of a crowd of under 20k. The Orange defense gets four interceptions off Jordan Travis and the game is capped off by Dan Villari hurdling a Florida State defended on a 5-yard touchdown run. We spend the next 48 hours deciding between #JustinTime and #SendVillari.

at Wake Forest Demon Deacons - Loss (3-8, 1-6)

The euphoria continues somewhat as Lamson goes toe to toe with Sam Hartman for four quarters. A late Sean Tucker touchdown brings Syracuse within one and Babers goes for the win, but this time Villari’s hurdle attempt ends up with him power-bombed at the 1 yard line.

at Boston College Eagles - Loss (3-9, 1-7)

How confident is Babers that he isn’t going to get fired? He gives in to the wishes of the fans and starts Rhino at QB. Each Syracuse possession leads to a quarterback change as JaCobian Morgan and Luke MacPhail see their first action of the season. The Orange season comes to an end with a 5-point loss and we enter a longer December than Adam Duritz could have ever imagined.

Could this be the worst possible outcome? No, but we don’t want to think about anything lower than this before the season starts. If this were to come true then we can only hope that the Syracuse basketball squads are somehow both ranked after Thanksgiving or that one of the fall sports is bringing back a NCAA title.

Again- this is not the actual prediction, just a hypothetical so don’t get too upset.