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Fake Nunes previews Syracuse vs Pittsburgh

Going up on a Tuesday

NCAA Basketball: Cornell at Syracuse Rich Barnes-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome back, Fake Nunes fans. Get your coffee ready for this late tip-off or if you’re on the West Coast, leave early to make sure you’re ready for the start of the game....because who knows if the Syracuse Orange will be.

Opponent: Pittsburgh Panthers

Location: Pittsburgh, PA

Students: 28,391 students who wouldn’t know how to respond to you yelling “Send it in Jerome”

The 2022-23 Fake Nunes Equation of Tumult (#FNET)

College basketball is full of metrics that no one really fully understands so we’ll continue to give you more ridiculousness with this year’s revised FNET metric.

Head Coach Casual Bench Attire:

Casual attire is fine, but if your head coach looks like Drake arguing with an official, it might be too casual

NCAA Basketball: West Virginia at Pittsburgh Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

On the other hand Jim Boeheim looks like someone’s grandpa is getting mad at the ref.

NCAA Basketball: Cornell at Syracuse Rich Barnes-USA TODAY Sports

Advantage: Syracuse


Pitt has done what Syracuse should- embrace the classic script uniforms. Instead of staying with some boring-ass Nike 2000s look, go with what the people want.

NCAA Basketball: North Florida at Pittsburgh Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

Advantage: Pitt

Basketball Program Hashtag:

None vs #H2P

Works for Head to Petersen as well

Advantage: Pitt

Program pandering:

A new category where we look at the programs and see what they are trying to do to garner support from the fans.

Wouldn’t you show up early to get a script Cuse mug?

Advantage: Pitt


The Panthers get off to a fast start and hold a halftime lead. Jim Boeheim rips into his team because if he’s not getting his chicken parm until midnight, he’s damn sure going to be eating it after a win. The Syracuse freshmen are a bit confused, a bit scared and well they aren’t going to find out what happens if they don’t come back. They come out of the locker room, defending and rebounding and Syracuse rallies for a 67-63 win.