It’s Wednesday, so you know what that means... time for the blog that gives you the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- it’s #FakeNunes time. Have we found some creative ways to get #jokesandgarbage into a Syracuse Orange preview? You be the judge....
Now onto this week’s opponent
Opponent: Pittsburgh Panthers
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Students: 28,891 students who want Mark Whipple back
The 2022 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)
We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.
NEW Rivalry Trophy
The FNSI staff realized that some of what’s missing in these games is that the Orange aren’t playing for any rivalry trophies and they are out to fix that injustice. Each week the winner of the FNSI will get to take home a new trophy. This week we give you
The Mahoney-Peterman Trophy
In honor of the two quarterbacks who lit up the scoreboard in 2016 as Pitt won 76-61. Peterman only threw for 250 yards and four touchdowns while Officer Mahoney shattered the Syracuse record books with 43 completions and seven total touchdowns (five passing).
The Great One Hair Factor
In order to maintain our status as #CanadasCollegeTeam, each week we look at who is wearing #99 and determine who has the better salad.
Not a lot to go with in terms of flow here, but it looks Elijah Fuentes-Cundiff gets the win by default as Pitt refuses to honor The Great One as to not offend Super Mario.
Bringing back this one as we love to drop, some knowledge every now and then to help our loyal readers possibly win a trivia night. After all we are the Syracuse blog that loves you back and we take that seriously.
Fred Rogers vs Dick Clark
Two television icons go head to head this week. Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and American Bandstand made an impact on generations of television viewers and will leave a legacy for decades to follow.
Advantage: Push- how do you pick between these two legends?
Football Program Hashtag:
None vs #H2P
If it’s Hail 2 Pitt that’s fine, but what if it’s really standing for Heinz 2 Poor new stadium name?
Linebackers Coach Looks Like:
Fans of the LeBatard Show might know this game, it’s where we guess what is the best description for a position coach from each team. This year’s choice will be linebackers coach. This week’s match-up (now easier to compare thanks to Michael’s discovery of the image slider):
Ryan Manalac looks like a guy who fires up his team by head-butting lockers.
Tony White looks like a guy who fires up his team by stuffing walk-ons into lockers.
Advantage: Push. Words have a better impact.
The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction
Syracuse doesn’t send out any quarterbacks to throw in warm-ups. Instead Dino has them working out in the parking lot wearing those heavy sideline jackets so Pitt can’t see any numbers. Narduzzi is fuming as the teams take the field and he draws two unsportsmanlike penalties before the opening kick-off.
The game starts with Oronde Gadsden II taking shotgun snaps. After two plays Trebor Pena moves into the backfield and after four straight runs, Syracuse enters the red zone. Babers then has Wes Hoeh take a direct snap which leads to a fumble. Pitt returns the fumble deep into Orange territory and settle for a 23-yard field goal. The next 55 minutes of action features zero points until Narduzzi has his punter take an intentional safety in the final minute. Pitt wins 3-2 and Narduzzi tells the announcing crew that the game is how football should be played.