clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

#FakeNunes previews Syracuse vs Clemson

Dino and Dabo back together again

NCAA Football: Clemson at Syracuse Mark Konezny-USA TODAY Sports

It’s Wednesday, so you know what that means... time for the blog that gives you the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- it’s #FakeNunes time. Have we found some creative ways to get #jokesandgarbage into a Syracuse Orange preview? You be the judge....

Now onto this week’s opponent

Opponent: Clemson Tigers

Location: Clemson, SC

Students: 20,796 students who still want Dabo to coach basketball in the off-season.

The 2022 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)

We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.

NEW Rivalry Trophy

The FNSI staff realized that some of what’s missing in these games is that the Orange aren’t playing for any rivalry trophies and they are out to fix that injustice. Each week the winner of the FNSI will get to take home a new trophy. This week we give you

The F U Dabo Trophy

FU Dabo

Come on had to see this one coming too....and don’t ask how you make a gif a trophy, use some imagination for once will ya.

The Great One Hair Factor

In order to maintain our status as #CanadasCollegeTeam, each week we look at who is wearing #99 and determine who has the better salad.

Not a lot to go with in terms of flow here so Elijah Fuentes-Cundiff takes this one over Greg WIlliams because of the beard advantage.

Advantage: Syracuse

Notable Alum

Bringing back this one as we love to drop some knowledge every now and then to help our loyal readers possibly win a trivia night. After all we are the Syracuse blog that loves you back and we take that seriously.

Jonathan Hickman vs Robb Armstrong

It’s the battle of comic book writers and the Marvel staff here is not happy with this choice. We pit Hickman against Armstrong, the creator of the syndicated comic strip “Jump Start”. Unfortunately for Robb the staff isn’t going against the writer of Secret Wars

Advantage: Clemson because we don’t want to sit through a 45 minute presentation on Earth 1610 which it turns out isn’t the one where Syracuse wins the CFP

Football Program Hashtag:

None vs None

The best social media team in the ACC has thrown us for a loop by going without a program hashtag this year and you know what we respect the move.

Advantage: Clemson

Linebackers Coach Looks Like:

Fans of the LeBatard Show might know this game, it’s where we guess what is the best description for a position coach from each team. This year’s choice will be linebackers coach. This week’s match-up (now easier to compare thanks to Michael’s discovery of the image slider):

Bob DeChiara-USA TODAY Sports and Photo by Michael Allio/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Wes Goodwin looks like a guy who borrows your pressure washer and suggests that you might want to get a more powerful model next year.

Tony White looks like a guy who borrows your pressure washer and before he returns it he fills the gas tank, cleans each part, then leaves it in your garage with a case of beer.

Advantage: Syracuse because that’s what a good neighbor does

The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction

Dabo face plants running down from Howard’s Rock and he gets his khakis covered in grass stains. He spends the first half wearing some old Bike coaches shorts they found in an equipment bag. Television cameras are afraid to go to a wide shot of the sideline as no one wants to see Dabo in some nut-huggers. His appearance does throw off the Orange offensive line who keep missing Clemson stunts due to the distraction.

Clemson is up 13 at the break and Trebor Pena breaks a long touchdown run to close the gap. The Orange recover a fumble and settle for a field goal on 4th and 2 from the Clemson 21. Both defenses take over from there and the game ends with Clemson holding on to a 17-13 win as the game thread implodes into a pit of complaints about Dino’s third quarter decision. Several posters demand Wildhack fire him as the majority of posters decide to close their laptops and enjoy the weekend instead,