We are no stranger to multiversal shenanigans here at TNIAAM, especially when they involve the Syracuse Orange. However, when Bill C of ESPN and SP+ fame gets in on the action, you know that the universe currently inhabited, for as crazy as it may seem, is really pretty stable compared to what’s out there in the multiverse of college football simulations.
So how does Syracuse make the playoff? What happens to get the Orange playing against Bama, Ole Miss, and USC? Go find America Chavez, because we are about to jump to Earth-3789.
Ok, that was cool. We’re now in Atlanta, at the site of the Peach Bowl, so naturally, I’m going to go to my favorite bar in midtown, Cypress Street Pint and Plate, and need to see if someone can walk me through the college football season. Thankfully, it’s filled with Orange and... USC fans? Ok, this is definitely weird. Thankfully, ESPN is on a TV and thanks to plot magic, explaining exactly how Syracuse’s undefeated run got them the No. 3 seed in the College Football Playoff.
NC State: Win, in big part thanks to Devin Leary’s absence causing the Wolfpack to sputter on offense.
@ Clemson: Win, because for whatever reason Dino plays the Tigers well and when DJ Uiagalelei exits the game for concussion protocol, Cade Klubnik is simply not ready.
Notre Dame: Win, as the Orange defeat an actual leprechaun at QB for the Irish, which backfires when Otto absorbs the magical creature into it’s head, never to be seen again.
@ Pitt: Win, after Dino Babers sneaks into the building formerly known as Heinz Field the night before to burn a Primanti’s sandwich and ketchup bottle at the 50 yard line. During the game, Israel Abanikanda continues to fumble the ball around midfield...
Florida State: Win, and in a weird twist of fate, College Gameday comes to Syracuse for the first time ever. However, the administration doesn’t want to lose revenue from the Quad, so the guys have to broadcast from the JMA Wireless Roof. Pat McAfee rides a temporary roller coaster installed.
@ Wake Forest: Win, and in true Syracuse fashion, they almost lose this game. Sean Tucker comes through in the 4th, scoring two touchdowns and eating most of the clock.
@ BC: Win, as the Orange take a proverbial victory lap in Chestnut Hill. Orange alumni outnumber BC fans 3 to 1 in the stadium.
ACC Championship vs UNC: Win, as somehow hiring Gene Chizik as a defensive coordinator didn’t go bad until the last game of the season. Garrett Shrader goes off for over 500 total yards, and we all realize Mac Brown’s UNC experiment is really weird.
That’s how an undefeated, 13-0 Syracuse joined the 13-0 PAC-12 Champion USC, 13-0 SEC Champion Ole Miss, and 11-1 Alabama in the College Football Playoff. Don’t ask about the B1G. Every time I do people stare blankly at me like I’m an alien or something.