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#FakeNunes previews Syracuse vs Miami

Party in the city where the heat is on

NCAA Basketball: Miami-Florida at Syracuse Rich Barnes-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome back, Fake Nunes fans. The analytics staff is hard at work as the Syracuse Orange move back into the 2021-22 ACC Basketball season. Let’s get to the preview of the next Syracuse opponent...

Opponent: Miami Hurricanes

Location: Coral Gables, FL

Students: 11,094 students who think A-Rod is Miami’s most famous alum

The 2021-22 Fake Nunes Equation of Tumult (#FNET)

College basketball is full of metrics that no one really fully understands so we’ll continue to give you more ridiculousness with this year’s revised FNET metric.

Head Coach Casual Bench Attire:

Jim Larrañaga should be dressing like other transplanted New Yorkers who retired to Coral Gables. Let’s get him in some short sleeved button down shirts, pleated shorts and Sperry shoes.

NCAA Basketball: Stetson at Miami-Florida Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports

Can you just imagine Jim Boeheim coaching in shorts and Sperrys?

NCAA Basketball: Villanova at Syracuse Vincent Carchietta-USA TODAY Sports

Advantage: Push.


Syracuse will go with the standard road orange look while Miami has these Adidas shorts that want you look at their crotch for some reason

NCAA Basketball: Stetson at Miami-Florida Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports

Advantage: Syracuse because no body wants some weird U design on their shorts

Basketball Program Hashtag:

None vs None

Well this is a new one for us.

Advantage: Push

Best Overseas Team Name:

We look at where alums are playing pro basketball and determine the coolest name using our secret super-scientific formula.

Cangrejeros de Santurce- Puerto Rico Baloncesto Superior Nacional (Angel Rodriguez) vs PS Karlsruhe- German Pro A (Matthew Moyer)

If you play for a team called the Crabmen that’s owned by Bad Bunny that’s enough to take this category

Advantage: Miami


Both teams come out firing and hitting and it’s 30-30 at the 10 minute mark of the first half. Then the refs step in with some inconsistent foul calls that destroy the rhythm of the game and make it a slog. The second half starts off the same but then Joe Girard and Kameron McGusty get into a stretch of “anything you hit I can too”. Down the stretch Syracuse remembers they have a 7-footer shooting over 70% from the field and feed Jesse Edwards enough to escape with a four-point road win.