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Welcome back, Fake Nunes fans. At this point #jokesandgarbage might be the only way we get through the rest of this Syracuse Orange ACC Basketball season so let’s get to the preview of the next Syracuse opponent...
Opponent: Duke Blue Devils
Location: Durham, NC
Students: 6,546 students who aren’t leaving Krzyzewskiville until someone forces them out
The 2021-22 Fake Nunes Equation of Tumult (#FNET)
College basketball is full of metrics that no one really fully understands so we’ll continue to give you more ridiculousness with this year’s revised FNET metric.
Head Coach Casual Bench Attire:
Coach K’s got a pretty strong shoe game but this black 1⁄4 zip makes him look like the guy at the country club who makes sure no one sits in front of his clubhouse locker.
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Jim Boeheim looks like the guy at the country club who tells people to sit in front of Krzyzewski’s locker because he knows it bothers him.
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Advantage: Syracuse
Uniforms:
Duke has a pretty solid look unless they wear black. We know that everyone hates Duke but that doesn’t mean that black makes them bad-ass or anything.
Advantage: Push
Basketball Program Hashtag:
None vs #
Yes it’s really in that font. Can you say pretentious?
Advantage: Duke
Best Overseas Team Name:
We look at where alums are playing pro basketball and determine the coolest name using our secret super-scientific formula.
Hitachi Sun Rockers- Japanese B League (Ryan Kelly) vs Taoyuan Pilots - Taiwan Plus League (John Gillon)
Sun Rockers is such a good name that even a Duke player can’t screw it up
Advantage: Duke
Prediction:
The Cameron Crazies are obnoxious early on as Wendell Moore goes to work. After a deep 3 Joe Girard tells them to quiet down which only makes it worse a bit later when Girard throws a ball into four Political Science majors from Jersey. Duke’s defense pressures the Orange into isolation heavy offense and eventually the shots stop falling as the Blue Devils pull away in the final six minutes sending Syracuse back to .500 ville.