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#FakeNunes previews Syracuse men’s basketball vs Virginia

Be thankful this isn’t a 9 o’clock tip-off

NCAA Basketball: ACC Conference Tournament-Virginia Syracuse Nell Redmond-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome back, Fake Nunes fans. The analytics staff is hard at work as the Syracuse Orange move back into the 2021-22 ACC Basketball season. Let’s get to the preview of the next Syracuse opponent...

Opponent: Virginia Cavaliers

Location: Charlottesville, VA

Students: 16,723 students

The 2021-22 Fake Nunes Equation of Tumult (#FNET)

College basketball is full of metrics that no one really fully understands so we’ll continue to give you more ridiculousness with this year’s revised FNET metric.

Head Coach Casual Bench Attire:

Tony Bennett’s team seems to have lost something since he went from suburban housewife darling to typical suburban dad

NCAA Basketball: Iowa at Virginia Scott Taetsch-USA TODAY Sports

Jim Boeheim has those casual Friday insurance rep vibes going on the sidelines.

NCAA Basketball: Syracuse at Florida State Melina Myers-USA TODAY Sports

Advantage: Syracuse. It’s hard to go from heartthrob to heartburn Tony.


Syracuse will go with the standard home look while Virginia has this on-brand bland blue look going on.

COLLEGE BASKETBALL: NOV 23 Legends Classic - Virginia Cavaliers v Providence Friars Photo by Rich Graessle/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Advantage: Syracuse

Basketball Program Hashtag:

None vs #GoHoos

We know who wins this but let’s take a moment to acknowledge this part of UVA’s twitter bio: “Humility - Passion - Unity - Servanthood - Thankfulness”. Is this a social media account for a basketball team or a company selling their kitchen wall decor?

Advantage: Virginia

Best Overseas Team Name:

We look at where alums are playing pro basketball and determine the coolest name using our secret super-scientific formula.

AX Armani Exchange Milan- Italian Lega Basket Serie A (Devon Hall) vs King Szczecin- Polish EBL (Malachi Richardson)

Of course we use Malachi here just in case any Virginia fans end up reading this....however it’s the holidays and you can’t go wrong with Armani Exchange.

Advantage: Virginia


As you’d expect this Virginia team loves to play slow-tempo games and rely on the pack-line defense. The difference this year is that the Cavaliers are struggling to score. Can they turn this one ugly enough to keep the Orange from reaching 65 points? You know Kiheil Clark is going to be a nuisance so even though Syracuse should win easily this game is likely to get dragged into the mud. Jesse Edwards gets a crucial offensive rebound basket in the final minute to seal the win for the Orange and start 2022 off right.