#FakeNunes previews Syracuse vs. Rutgers

It’s Wednesday, so you know what that means...time for the blog that gave you the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- it’s #FakeNunes time. Have we find some creative ways to get #jokesandgarbage into a Syracuse Orange preview? You be the judge.

Now onto this week’s game...

Opponent: Rutgers Scarlet Knights

Location: New Brunswick, NJ

Students: 68,942

The 2021 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)

We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.

Uniforms:

Syracuse

The home opener should give us the classic Cuse home look.

Photo by Bryan M. Bennett/Getty Images

Rutgers

Should be red helmets, white jerseys for the Scarlet Knights. Only question should be white or red pants but if anyone is going to lean into the patriotism of the day it’s Schiano.

Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

Advantage: Syracuse because football uniforms are not a great way to express remembrance on a solemn occasion

Weekend event in town:

We recognize that some of you might need something else to do to celebrate a win or forget a loss, so we’re picking one community event from each city and determining which is more fun.

Piscataway- Oktoberfest!

We’re back! ­ Oktoberfest Season! After taking the year off due to COVID, we are once again ready to dust off our lederhosen, fire up the oompah band and enjoy a tall mug of German beer at the Deutscher Club in Clark. So, mark your calendars for the Bavarian­-style celebration on Sat., Sept. 11th at 3pm. In the tradition of Munich’s famous annual festival, Bayern Verein’s Oktoberfest features authentic family-style bench seating, traditional Bavarian dancers (Schuhplattlers), lots of music and delicious German food and drink and more!

Syracuse- Syracuse Irish Festival

The Fair might be over but there’s time for more music and beer downtown after the game. Enter the Haggis will send your weekend

Advantage: Syracuse because Oktoberfest is great but it’s only September

Football Program Hashtag:

None vs #CHOP

This notion of Keep Choppin’ was dumb a decade ago but of course it plays well to a guy who thought kneel-downs at the end of NFL games was a good time for cheap shots.

Advantage: Rutgers

Offensive Line Coach Looks Like:

Fans of the LeBatard Show might know this game, it’s where we guess what is the best description for each team’s offensive line coach. This week’s match-up brings a slight tweak:

Greg Schiano looks like the Applebee’s manager who tells you that if you’re not eating anything you can’t make a “Fancy Like” Tik-Tok video inside HIS restaurant.

Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images

Mike Schmidt looks like he’s sorry to tell you that while doing your oil change the technician discovered a leaky foam insulant that’s corroded your rear brake pads and it’ll run ya a couple grand to get it fixed.

Advantage: Rutgers because all of CFB has banded together to hate that song.

The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction:

Neither team’s QB did much last week so of course this will probably turn into one of those Dome games where neither guy misses an opportunity to make a big play. The game that the media mocked becomes one they scramble to find as both teams crack the 50-point barrier late in the 4th quarter. The game goes into a 5th overtime where Rutgers converts their 2-pt conversion and then follows up with a goal line stop on Tommy DeVito’s attempt to tie the game on Syracuse’s 2-pt attempt. The Scarlet Knights survive 63-62.