Welcome back, Fake Nunes fans. The analytics staff here has pivoted to basketball as the Syracuse Orange begin the 2021-22 ACC Basketball season. Let’s get to the preview of the next Syracuse opponent...
Opponent: Villanova Wildcats
Location: Villanova, Pa.
Students: 7,036 students who don’t have the last name Arcidiacono
The 2021-22 Fake Nunes Equation of Tumult (#FNET)
College basketball is full of metrics that no one really fully understands so we’ll continue to give you more ridiculousness with this year’s revised FNET metric.
Head Coach Casual Bench Attire:
Second game in a row where the opposing head coach feels unfairly hurt by casual attire. You, your spouse and your mother all wish that you looked as good in a suit as Jay Wright. Now he just looks like a sales manager running some kind of team-building exercise.
Jim Boeheim’s only complaint about the 1⁄4 zip will be that he’s got to add a jacket and tie when he goes for his post-game Chicken Parm in NYC
Classic teams who finally figured out that it was good to embrace tradition. In a perfect world we’d get a color vs color game.....
Advantage: Whichever team gets to wear their road uniforms.
Basketball Program Hashtag:
None vs #NovaNation no wait #GoNova nope it’s #Attitude
Syracuse doesn’t want to participate but we’re keeping this so you can see what other schools are doing. Either of the first two would be fine but the last one reminds me of those 1990’s motivational posters
Best Overseas Team Name:
We look at where alums are playing pro basketball and determine the coolest name using our secret super-scientific formula.
Le Mans Sarthe Basket- French Jeep Elite (Dante Cunningham) vs King Szczecin- Polish EBL (Malachi Richardson)
It’s a regal sounding match-up this week but we can’t go against the King, especially with this logo
Half of you will confuse Collin Gillespie with Chris Arcidiacono and then find yourself down a Ryan Arcidiacono rabbit hole and before you know it you’ll be wondering if they are Scoop Jardine’s cousins. The other half of you will be watching to see how close these teams might come to the NCAA record for three-point attempts in a game (it’s 108 so probably safe). You might not need caffeine to stay engaged in this late tip-off. Safe to say this might be the best shooting that the MSG court will see this year and we wouldn’t be shocked if the game ends up 89-87. Bing Bong Buddy Boeheim bucket brings back Boeheim’s boys.