Welcome back, Fake Nunes fans. The analytics staff here has pivoted to basketball as the Syracuse Orange begin the 2021-22 ACC Basketball season. Let’s get to the preview of the next Syracuse opponent...
Opponent: Florida State Seminoles
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Students: 32,881 students who still find it weird to be fully focused on basketball in December
The 2021-22 Fake Nunes Equation of Tumult (#FNET)
College basketball is full of metrics that no one really fully understands so we’ll continue to give you more ridiculousness with this year’s revised FNET metric.
Head Coach Casual Bench Attire:
Leonard Hamilton does not benefit from the transition to casual. Someone give this man his mock turtleneck back.
Jim Boeheim on the other hand was made for the 1⁄4 zip life. We are sad we’ve lost the jacket toss but man Jim just looks so much more comfortable on the sideline. Look at the easy arm extension on display here
The Orange have unfortunately lost too many games in the script uniforms to keep our argument for making them the full-time look. Still better than what Florida State’s got.
Basketball Program Hashtag:
None vs #NewBlood
Syracuse doesn’t want to participate but we’re keeping this so you can see what other schools are doing. FSU turned over a good portion of their key players so this is a pretty appropriate choice.
Advantage: Florida State
Best Overseas Team Name:
We look at where alums are playing pro basketball and determine the coolest name using our secret super-scientific formula.
Quimper- French NBL Pro B (Ryan Reid) vs Ternopil- Ukrainian Super League (Marek Dolezaj)
We’re kicking this off by featuring everyone’s favorite pizza-eatin, Zion charge-takin’, scrappy Slovakian.
Both of these teams have been tough to read so far this year. The Seminoles are coming off a blowout road loss while the Orange gutted out that 2 OT win. Of course what will happen is little-used FSU reserve center and Syracuse native Quincy Ballard will be pressed into action and respond with a late basket to give the Seminoles a 73-71 win. Message boards will be filled with laments about Boeheim letting him get away despite that basket being the only points Ballard scores in the game.