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ACC men’s basketball power rankings: Christmas gift edition

We went shopping thanks to the ACC Network

NCAA Basketball: Elon at Duke Rob Kinnan-USA TODAY Sports

There’s not a lot for Syracuse Orange fans to look forward to on the court this week so let’s spend some time gifting the ACC Men’s Basketball teams something special. With all the losses racking up these teams could use something nice under the tree.

1) Duke Blue Devils- (10-1 Last week: 1st)

We give Duke the gift of Tac Glasses because right now the Blue Devils don’t want to be blinded by the path to an ACC title and NCAA #1 seed that looms ahead.

2) Wake Forest Demon Deacons- (11-1 Last week: 2nd)

A lot of people are sleeping on the Demon Deacons so we’re giving them a Miracle Bamboo Pillow so those haters can rest comfortably as Wake keeps winning.

3) Virginia Tech Hokies (8-4 Last week: 4th)

The analytics say the Hokies are pretty good and beating St. Bonaventure is a solid win. That being said we will have to install the Battle Shield so we can see through the glare to find out if they are indeed better than the record says.

4) UNC Tar Heels: (8-3 Last week: 3rd)

UNC got blown out by Kentucky and even though it was a last-minute adjustment they were supposed to play UCLA so perhaps the Pocket Jump Starter can get the Heels going again.

5) Clemson Tigers (8-4 Last week: 11th)

Clemson got a win over South Carolina and that’s enough to vault them up this week. We’re giving the Tigers the Hidden Wall Safe Outlet because you can never be too careful with your valuables.

NCAA Basketball: Clemson at Miami-Florida Sam Navarro-USA TODAY Sports

6)Virginia Cavaliers (7-4 Last week: 9th)

The average score of Virginia’s games are 62-55 and if you think it’s like watching someone strain pasta well this Strainer and Drip Bowl set will be the perfect accompaniment for Wahoos hoops.

7) Miami Hurricanes: (8-3 Last week: 10th)

Miami didn’t play last week which means they get to move up. They also need to avoid the sun so this Arctic Hat can help them cool off in Coral Gables.

8) Syracuse Orange (5-5 Last week: 8th)

The Orange will get another week to figure out some ways to shore up their defense. You know what could help plug the leaks- why it’s Flex Tape of course.

9) Florida State Seminoles (6-4 Last week: 12th)

Leonard Hamilton’s team is talented so maybe the Wipe New RainBrella will clear away those losses and give them a clearer path to March.

10) NC State Wolfpack (7-4 Last week: 5th)

A team that is hanging on to some post-season hopes could use the EverBelt to keep from leaving themselves exposed.

11) Notre Dame Fighting Irish (4-5 Last week: 6th)

Beat Kentucky then lose to Indiana. You might think that the Irish are inconsistent but what they did was help their ACC brethren each time. They got the league a solid OOC win and then lost to a team that Syracuse needs to be good for their resume. That’s why we’re giving them Perfect Smile Veneers because nice neighbors should be smiling bright.

12) Louisville Cardinals (6-3 Last week: 7th)

Time to spray this mess down with Full Crystal Exterior and hope the new landlord doesn’t notice what you did to the program Chris Mack.

NCAA Basketball: Southeastern Louisiana at Louisville Jamie Rhodes-USA TODAY Sports

13) Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets: (6-5 Last week: 14th)

Josh Pastner might want to give Simply Straight a try in case he needs a quick disguise after a game this year.

14) Boston College Eagles: (6-5 Last week: 13th)

BC’s better than the last couple of years and that’s why the Bowl Light is our gift to them. It might be a stinker but if you throw some new colors on it maybe people will like it better.

15) Pittsburgh Panthers (4-7 Last week: 15th)

Nice win over St. John’s for Jeff Capel’s crew. We reward them with the Huggle Hoodie to remind them that it’s all going to be ok.


Where did we go wrong this week? Have you seen anything good from this league so far this year?