Welcome back, Fake Nunes fans. The analytics staff here has pivoted to basketball as the Syracuse Orange begin the 2021-22 ACC Basketball season. Let’s get to the preview of the next Syracuse opponent...
Opponent: Georgetown Hoyas
Location: Washington, DC
Students: 7,141 students who have no idea what Big East Basketball is really about
The 2021-22 Fake Nunes Equation of Tumult (#FNET)
College basketball is full of metrics that no one really fully understands so we’ll continue to give you more ridiculousness with this year’s revised FNET metric.
Head Coach Casual Bench Attire:
Patrick Ewing must be thrilled by the coaching attire change. It cannot be comfortable for someone seven-feet tall to have to get a suit tailored or be stuck wearing it for hours at a time. Look how happy this man is...
Jim Boeheim looked like was coaching a CYO game against Blessed Sacrament. Fans at the CYO Center thought it was nice that he was coaching his two grandsons.
Syracuse is probably burying the script uniforms until they hold a fundraiser. Such a shame because they should be the full-time look. We don’t like Georgetown but we respect the uniqueness of the gray home uniforms.
Advantage: Syracuse because orange beats gray every day
Basketball Program Hashtag:
None vs #HOYASAXA and #WEAREGEORGETOWN
Syracuse doesn’t want to participate but we’re keeping this so you can see what other schools are doing. Not only do the Hoyas have two but what’s with the all-caps? So obnoxious and a serious cry for attention.
Best Overseas Team Name:
We look at where alums are playing pro basketball and determine the coolest name using our secret super-scientific formula.
Carpegna Prosciutto Basket Pesaro- Italian Lega Basket Serie A (Vee Sanford) vs Gemani Basket Brescia- Italian Lega Basket Serie A (Tyus Battle)
A basketball team named after a really good ham is a lesson that not all corporate naming deals are bad
We expected the Villanova game to be high-scoring so of course these old rivals known for basketball wars will be the ones to play some up and down playground game. There won’t be quite as many 3-point attempts in this game but if you squint really hard and play the game on your phone you might just think it’s David Wingate and Sherman Douglas flying up and down the court. If you watch it on a big screen you’ll see Buddy Boeheim hitting mid-range jumpers like his name was Bernard as Cuse gets back on the winning track with a bullet.