It’s Wednesday, so you know what that means... time for the blog that gave you the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- it’s #FakeNunes time. Have we found some creative ways to get #jokesandgarbage into a Syracuse Orange preview? You be the judge.
Now onto this week’s opponent
Opponent: NC State Wolfpack
Location: Raleigh, NC
Students: 23,707 students who think #BunchofJerks refers to Duke and UNC
The 2021 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)
We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.
The all-white look didn’t work so let’s go orange helmets white jerseys and orange pants
Since the Pack are an Adidas school who know what combination of white, red and black we’ll see. It’s also Military Appreciation Day so maybe there’s a camo motif coming.....but we all want to see the Slobbering Wolf helmet
NC State will wear the "Slobbering Wolf" helmet in Sept. 2 opener vs. USF pic.twitter.com/zUeW6UMslU— Brett McMurphy (@Brett_McMurphy) July 23, 2021
Advantage: NC State because when they have the audacity to put a hungry/horny mascot on their helmet. (Note: We aren’t calling for Syracuse to do “Angry Otto” which is the worst idea ever....now if you want to put an agitated Vita the Goat on a helmet we’re on board with that idea)
Weekend event in town:
We recognize that some of you might need something else to do to celebrate a win or forget a loss, so we’re picking one community event from each city and determining which is more fun.
Raleigh, NC: Downtown Raleigh Tree Lighting
Kick-off the holiday season with Downtown Raleigh’s Annual Tree Lighting on ABC11. Watch the tree lighting spectacle, shop at the Triangle Pop-Up holiday market, participate in holiday activities, and enjoy performances by local artists. Get your holiday pictures with the tree in front of the Duke Energy Center for Performing Arts along with festive snowflake lights on Fayetteville Street.
Syracuse, NY: New York State Craft Brewers Festival
The 8th annual New York State Craft Brewers Festival takes place on Saturday, November 20th, at the historic Landmark Theatre in Syracuse, New York. The unique and beloved event brings together 45+ breweries from every region of the state featuring a wide variety of unique and award-winning beers.
Advantage: Syracuse because if the game is like last week you’ll need a few beers to forget it
Football Program Hashtag:
None vs #1Pack1Goal
We’re not going to pretend this is good but at least it’s an attempt.
Advantage: NC State
Offensive Line Coach Looks Like:
Fans of the LeBatard Show might know this game, it’s where we guess what is the best description for each team’s offensive line coach. This week’s match-up:
John Garrison (with a beard) looks like the manager at the local tire shop who just wants to remind you that it’s time to get your snow tires installed
Mike Schmidt looks like he’s the principal investor in a proposed student housing venture and he’s here to convince the city council that the project will beautify the off-campus neighborhood it will tower over
Advantage: NC State because it is in fact time to get your snow tires installed
The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction:
Since John won’t be attending this one look for an offensive shootout in Raleigh on Saturday. After lamenting the Orange passing game the last two weeks Garrett Shrader ends up throwing for 400 yards and five touchdowns....unfortunately Devin Leary and Emeka Emezie connect for over 200 yards and four touchdowns as the Wolfpack win a wild 50-43 contest.