It’s Wednesday, so you know what that means... time for the blog that gave you the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- it’s #FakeNunes time. Have we found some creative ways to get #jokesandgarbage into a Syracuse Orange preview? You be the judge.
Now onto this week’s opponent
Opponent: Louisville Cardinals
Location: Louisville, KY
Students: 14,448 students who can’t believe Scott Satterfield is still around
The 2021 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)
We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.
Based on what Louisville is going with then expect the Orange to go with a lot of white
The Cardinals do bloggers a favor with the early announcement
Advantage: Syracuse because everyone knows Cards fans prefer all-white
Weekend event in town:
We recognize that some of you might need something else to do to celebrate a win or forget a loss, so we’re picking one community event from each city and determining which is more fun.
Louisville, KY: Bob Dylan Rough and Rowdy Ways Tour
Performing almost nonstop for 30 years, Dylan had to take an extended break from his current tour because of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Now he’s back!
Syracuse, NY: The Flaming Lips American Head America Tour
In the United States, as well as around the world, The Flaming Lips became known for their psychedelic rock arrangements using orchestras and crazed overdubs with unusual titles
Advantage: Louisville because people will at least think you’re cultured if you go to see Dylan
Football Program Hashtag:
None vs #GoCards
At this point you know we believe simple is better
Offensive Line Coach Looks Like:
Fans of the LeBatard Show might know this game, it’s where we guess what is the best description for each team’s offensive line coach. This week’s match-up:
Jack Bicknell looks like he just won the award for top insurance salesman in the tri-state area.
Mike Schmidt looks like he won the national award for top insurance salesman
Advantage: Syracuse because mashing dingers is the true American pastime
The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction:
The last few trips to Louisville haven’t gone well for the Orange so Dino Babers brings in the 2015 National Champion cross-country squad to address the team before the game. Noted track aficionado Sean Tucker is so star-struck that he isn’t effective in the first quarte while Malik Cunningham is dicing up the Syracuse defense. Tucker snaps out of it when Philo Germano implores him to kick it in and Tucker goes over 140 yards in the 4th quarter to bring the Orange back. A last minute Cunningham pass gets the Cardinals into position for a game-winning field goal and bowl travel packages are put on hold in Central New York.