It’s Wednesday, so you know what that means... time for the blog that gave you the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- it’s #FakeNunes time. Have we found some creative ways to get #jokesandgarbage into a Syracuse Orange preview? You be the judge.
Now onto this week’s opponent
Opponent: Virginia Tech Hokies
Location: Blacksburg, VA
Students: 27,730 students who think every kitchen counter should be made from Hokie Stone
The 2021 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)
We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.
Back on the road we expect white jerseys and let’s say white helmets and orange pants.
It’s probably going to be a maroon jersey and since they went all-maroon for Notre Dame we think it’ll be back to maroon helmets but white pants.
Advantage: Syracuse everyone knows orange and blue pairs better than orange and maroon
Weekend event in town:
We recognize that some of you might need something else to do to celebrate a win or forget a loss, so we’re picking one community event from each city and determining which is more fun.
Blacksburg: Sinkland’s Pumpkin Festival
Our annual Pumpkin Festival is truly something to write home about! We are celebrating our 30th anniversary during the 2021 season and are making sure this will be a year to remember. Attracting folks from miles around, we bring out the best of the farm during our traditional pumpkin harvest.
Syracuse: The 43rd Mountain Goat Run
The Mountain Goat Run is a 10 Mile Syracuse tradition, open to participants of all ages. We have been conquering the hills of Syracuse for 43 years - bringing our community together each year.
Advantage: Syracuse because who would rather drink beers, listen to music and eat pumpkin things when you could run 10 hilly miles?
Football Program Hashtag:
None vs #Hokies
They even have a turkey emoji after it.....sigh
Advantage: Virginia Tech
Offensive Line Coach Looks Like:
Fans of the LeBatard Show might know this game, it’s where we guess what is the best description for each team’s offensive line coach. This week’s match-up:
Vance Vice looks like one half of the new AAA World Tag Team Champions - “Las Super Ranas”
Mike Schmidt looks like he’ll make you tap out as soon as he applies the full nelson
Advantage: Virginia Tech because
The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction:
The lazy take would be to predict Syracuse to self-destruct and lose by 3 in the final minute.
Oh you’re still there? Um well um.....Sean Tucker runs for 144 yards, has 44 yards receiving and hits a quick kick punt for 44 yards and Syracuse wins when the Orange force a Braxton Burmeister interception which gets returned by Eric Coley for a touchdown. Immediately John Wildhack says that since two players wearing 34 scored touchdowns the 44 Council will have to deliberate until 2023 about putting 44 back on the field because otherwise it might not be fair.