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Welcome back, Fake Nunes fans. We’re here for another season of Syracuse Orange ACC Basketball so let’s see if the Orange can make it two three wins in a row in tonight’s Big Monday matchup.
Opponent: Virginia Cavaliers
Location: Charlottesville, VA
Students: 25,018 students who go to bed every night holding their framed Kyle Guy photo
The 2020-21 Fake Nunes Equation of Tumult (#FNET)
You wanted something more ridiculous than RPI and the NCAA gave you NET. We give you more ridiculousness so we’re bringing back a revised FNET metric.
Head Coach Bench Attire and Mask:
The media isn’t talking enough about what casual attire has done for Tony Bennett. Dropping the suits has pushed him ahead of Jay Wright as the head coach with too much sideline sauce.
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Jim Boeheim was orchestrating Saturday’s update in this blue number. That mask though...
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Advantage: Virginia
NBA 2K Playability:
Virginia is the better team but you don’t play video games to play lockdown defense. Pick the Orange and let the shots fly
Advantage: Syracuse
Basketball Program Hashtag:
None vs #GoHoos
Simplicity is fine. Many times it’s better than trying too hard to find something fresh and catchy.
Advantage: Virginia
ACC Social Media Favorites:
Take your pick vs Marek Dolezaj
In a mild upset Dolezaj’s post-game pizza picture gives him the edge here
— Syracuse Basketball (@Cuse_MBB) January 23, 2021
Advantage: Syracuse
Boeheim Jacket Mask Toss Meter
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2.2/10 This would have been a prime spot for a toss. Syracuse has enough offense to be in this game and the savvy Boeheim would know that a toss could lock down a key road win. Maybe in 2022....thanks Obama.
Prediction:
A week ago Orange fans had pivoted to the Buffalo Bills but a win over Miami and suddenly visions of Apology Tour III: Slovakian Nights are abound. The Hokies are ranked and favored but this one sure seems like that “upset” win that Syracuse is going to get. Orange take this one by a field goal.
Leaving the last game prediction up to show you that nothing everything’s fake about this piece. Now that we’ve patted ourselves on the back, the Virginia sweep is denied by the pack line defense as the Cavaliers/Wahoos/Jeffersons or whatever pretentious name they want to call themselves this week win.