clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Syracuse-specific executive orders that Joe Biden still needs to sign

New, comments

Smart people will understand why we picked 27 of them

NCAA Men’s Final Four Semifinal - Syracuse v North Carolina Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

It was great that Syracuse Orange alum President Joe Biden wanted to get to work early yesterday after his inauguration as he planned to issue some immediate executive orders.

However, we felt this list of 17 executive actions was lacking in Syracuse-related corrections so we’ve compiled our list for the new Orange administration

  1. Restore the 1990 NCAA Men’s Lacrosse National Championship — might be a challenge finding out whatever happened to the trophy thought, or then again maybe not...
  2. Restore Jim Boeheim’s 101 vacated wins in the NCAA record book
  3. Award the 1987 Heisman Trophy to the rightful winner, Syracuse QB Don McPherson
  4. Ban all Noon kickoffs for Orange football
  5. Prevent Dan Dakich from broadcasting any Syracuse basketball games
  6. Restore the No. 44 to be used by an active Syracuse football player
  7. Retire the jerseys from a minimum of three Syracuse women’s basketball alums
  8. Outlaw any arenas from placing a banner to mark the number of performances by a musician or group
  9. Require every school to display all NCAA Championship banners won by any sport in their football stadiums and basketball arenas
  10. All Syracuse teams must wear one of the script logos on their uniforms
  11. Force 2K sports to make a new NCAA Basketball game which includes men’s and women’s teams
  12. Declare Syracuse to be officially “America and Canada’s College Team” — Justyn Knight can call Trudeau and make the Can-Am Orange Pact happen
  13. Dome dog purchases may be claimed on tax returns
  14. Move the ACC basketball tournaments to Brooklyn
  15. Commission Carmelo Anthony as Captain America for all future U.S. Olympic basketball teams
  16. No other college basketball teams can play the 2-3 zone for more than one possession per half
  17. Tweak the NET formula so that all games played in an arena with a capacity above 25,000 are automatically Quadrant 1 games
  18. Force the Maryland women’s lacrosse team to play at Syracuse for the next four years
  19. Make the Syracuse women’s hockey, and men’s and women’s soccer jerseys available for purchase by fans
  20. Declare March 27 to be known as Malachi Richardson Day in Charlottesville, Virginia
  21. Bring back EA Sports NCAA Football, and make the 1959 Orange the best all-time team in the game
  22. Air Force One will be now known as Air Force Hakim
  23. A high-speed rail link between Scranton and Syracuse will be built so people can travel between the two cities in 44 minutes
  24. Gene Mills will be awarded an Olympic Gold Medal to replace the one stolen from him by the 1980 Boycott
  25. Next December all federal employees will be required to change their email signature to “Wishing you a Merry Rakeem Christmas”
  26. All children with two former Syracuse athlete parents or guardians must attend Syracuse University. Looking at you Thomas-Oliver, Ismail-Oslander, Presutti-Shannon and McNabb-Nurse families among others
  27. Credit to Phil08732883 for this one

Add those all up and we think President Biden will have accomplished the most amazing first week of anyone. We don’t have to stop there, drop your suggestions in the comments.