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The ‘Whiz-Bang Weekly’ rings in 2021 with the same #jokesandgarbage you’ve groaned to love

We’re punning up the score this year

NCAA Basketball: Georgetown at Syracuse Gregory Fisher-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome to 2021, loyal Whiz-Bangers. If your New Year’s resolution was to avoid a second impeachment raise your glass and toast to Dabo Swinney’s 11th favorite weekly round-up column.

Dabo got worked so badly by Ryan Day that he had to check that his name hadn’t been changed to Dabo Harbaugh.

Of course all that earned Ryan Day was a trip to South Beach where DeVonta Smith burned him like he was a Midwestern salesman in town for the time.

Did you hear during the game where Chris Fowler talked about how tough it was for Day this season? Yeah, he had to spend seven weeks in his guest house. Bunky that ain’t tough. I’ve been in my guest room for the last seven months and that futon is not good for the ol’ lumbar region.

Nick Saban is pushing the difficulty sliders a bit higher by going from Steve Sarkisian to Bill O’Brien. BOB is just happy to have more talent to work with than he did with the Texans.

For the sake of BIlls fans let’s hope that Lamar Jackson’s domination of New York teams ended when he left Louisville.

Louisville v Syracuse Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images

Alright that’s enough football for now, let’s switch over to the hardwood….and we’re going to have to pause a bit.

No one was shocked to find out Georgetown was spreading something but this year they didn’t want until March.

Anyone else rooting for June Madness to be a thing? I want a Final Four where coaches are wearing polos and khaki shorts. Without Sean Miller and Buzz Williams we wouldn’t have to worry about anyone passing out from excessive sweating.

Speaking of coaches in shorts I guess Brian Kelly used all of Mike Brey’s allotted ACC wins this year.

North Carolina just rebounded that missed joke but fear not dear reader we fire away like the Syracuse Orange backcourt. Brey will get him back by scoring more than fourteen points against Alabama

Gerry McNamara said “Syracuse was hitting a groove before the pause”. If that was hitting a groove I don’t want to see any footage of G-Mac dancing anytime soon.

Save you the click- Joe Lunardi has Syracuse hovering around the bubble.

Don’t want to know how many followers Marek Dolezaj’s chipped tooth has because I’m sure it would outpace any of those lame Boeheim’s jacket accounts.

Quincy Guerrier leads the ACC in defensive rebounds and “causing fans anxiety because your name just appeared in mock drafts”. Orange fans enjoy the Candy Man before he says Au Revoir L’Orange.