Freshly squeezed from the sub-basement level of TNIAAM HQ it’s the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- #FakeNunes. We’re going to have to try and bring more #jokesandgarbage to this Syracuse Orange preview since last week’s increased focus led to a win.
Now onto this week’s game
Opponent: Bye University Fightin’ Byes
Location: Anytown, USA
The 2020 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)
We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.
It’s another home game but we expect the team to mix it up for this one and welcome October with some #AllOrangeEverything
The Byes are dealing with their current budget cuts by supplying their players with these used uniforms from the 1980s movie Against All Odds.
Advantage: Syracuse because we’re pretty sure Bike is out of business now
The distance traveled
Something new for this year is to dig through each roster and find the player from the furthest distance from the school. Not their hometown but where they played previous to enrollment. How is that relevant to a game prediction? Can you think of a better measure of “want-to” than measuring how far a player travels? For Syracuse the player is Maximilian MangO from Nuthetal Germany (3,930 miles) while for Bye U it’s Offensive Tackle IV who hails from Parts Unknown (distance unknown)
Advantage: Bye University because the unknown is greater than the known
Football Program Hashtag:
None vs #ByeUByes
We applaud the creativity of reworking a classic line from an ‘80s movie to be your hashtag
Advantage: Bye U
Alumni Wrestling Connection
Rumor has it two of Bye U assistant strength coaches were Fake Diesel and Fake Razor Ramon in the 90s WWF. Two frauds don’t match up to Syracuse alum Dick “the Destroyer” Beyer
The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction:
This has been a one-sided affair in recent years and it seems like this trend will continue. Look for the Orange to load up the line of scrimmage to stop the running of Bye U’s QB Dommy TeVito. When Syracuse has the ball expect a lot of passes in the direction of Wrill Tilliams, the Fightin’ Byes defensive back who has a terrible habit of crashing into his teammates. We’ll see a lot of the new Orange take the field as this game turns into a rout. Syracuse 44- Bye U- 4