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Holiday edition of ‘The Whiz-Bang Weekly’

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals

NCAA Football: ACC Championship-Notre Dame at Clemson
Throw your hand in the air if you’re a real hater
Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

Mele Kalikimaka Orange Ohana. With the Syracuse Orange on pause we decided to gift you this week’s jokes and garbage spectacular a couple days early. Hop aboard the Polar Express as we head to see the big guy up North

So the College Football Playoffs are set and to no one’s surprise the ACC has 50% of the teams. Who said this was a cross-country/field hockey/soccer league?

I want to get on that committee though- you fly to Dallas each week to sit in a big room and watch football while eating and drinking on someone else’s dime. How come everytime I try that I lose another group of friends Bunky.

Tip of the ol’ ball cap to Jimbo Fisher and Ross Bjork for trying to get out in front on Saturday afternoon. Congrats guys now A&M is the first 1-loss SEC team to miss the CFP. Better luck staying within 28 of Bama next year guys

NCAA Football: SEC Championship-Alabama at Florida Adam Hagy-USA TODAY Sports

They won’t win the Heisman because they aren’t playing the right position but with Najee Harris and Devonta Smith I could have been the QB for Alabama and the Tide still would have beaten A&M

Dabo had a comment last week about thumb warriors and then goes and ranks Ohio State 11th on his ballot. Dabo: Thumb Warrior coming in 2021 to the ACC Network

Die Hard is a Christmas movie but Santa Claus is Coming to Town is the one thing you must watch every December

Another clown AD who keeps yappin’ is Jamie Pollard at Iowa State. Jamie- your football team lost at home to Louisiana. Not LSU just good ol’ Louisiana. If you drop a home game to team named Ragin’ you shouldn’t be going to any bowl, nevermind complaining about it

Not sure if Bill Walton will remember to refer to the Pac-12 by their new slogan- The Conference of Champions who shouldn’t have been playing in the Championship Game.

Speaking of slogans-remember when the Big 12 tried to brand themselves as “One True Champion”? That and a quarter used to get you two eggs, bacon and toast at the Little Gem.

Once proud champions...well you have to wonder about Miami. One week after UNC runs all over them on the field we find out that UNC frats were pushing more weight too. Just shocking that the Canes can’t even win the ACC drug race….and people voted Manny Diaz for coach of the year? Jimmie Johnson is rolling over on his yacht

If your neighborhood carolers don’t perform “Christmas in Hollis” then you should find a new neighborhood

Garrett Shrader’s beard got a lot of love but real Syracuse fans know he’ll need to trim that down to a chinstrap look if he really wants to assimilate to the Orange

Shame we don’t get to watch ACC Salesman of the Year Mike Brey stalking the sidelines in the Dome tomorrow night. Mike’s loving this sideline casual look as he can head right from the games to his dinner with Paulie Walnuts at the Bada Bing

Poor Joe Girard- going through the full Syracuse experience in the first 15 months. Underrated bench guy to overhyped next GOAT back to dartboard material. The support group meets on the 2nd Thursday of the month and Trevor Cooney will save you a seat next to the donuts and coffee

Kamila Cardoso was 10 of 11 from the field the other day. 91%. Higher than “A Charlie Brown Christmas” rates on Rotten Tomatoes. That’s impressive and I don’t want to hear anything about women’s hoops from any of you blockheads.

Should Quincy Guerrier say “Je déclare pour le repêchage de la NBA” at the conclusion of the season the only correct response is “Bonne Chance Homme de Bonbons”

Kentucky is 1-6 and Coach Cal is calling out a player for selfish behavior on Twitter. Maybe he can call Rand Paul to try and save this Lexington fiasco.

Before we wrap this present up and shove it under the tree we congratulate Marty Hehir who ran a marathon in roughly the time it takes you to get through the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru on a Saturday morning. Well done Marty. Mother’s Cupboard should name a dish in your honor now.

Happy Holidays