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Introducing ‘The Whiz-Bang Weekly’

Moar Jokes? Moar Garbage? More Jokes and Garbage!

NCAA Basketball: Syracuse at Boston College Bob DeChiara-USA TODAY Sports

Some of you have asked for more #jokesandgarbage around here, so we’ll give you at least one of those things in this weekly NCAA-based round-up. Every good sports page needs an older guy to rant about random things and I’m your Huckleberry. So buckle up, Chachi, this train is leaving the station

  • Jim Boeheim claims he has to pull down his mask for his Syracuse Orange players to hear him in the huddle but former players will tell you they can still hear his voice in their nightmares. Most of the time it’s Jim telling them “if you miss a shot, I’m pulling you”
  • Speaking of masks, Jim Christian should wear one over his eyes and start dangling a cigarette between his lips because BC’s schedule has him in front of the firing squad in Newton Heights. Billy Curley is not walking through that door but if he did he’d still be BC’s best interior player
  • 2020 has aged everyone a decade... .everyone except Leonard Hamilton. Forget about Instagram influencers, tell me his skincare secrets/ Maybe the key to staying young is putting the ball in the hands of a 6’9” 5-star freshman so be sure to ask for your own Scottie Barnes
Murray State v Florida State Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images
  • Pitt’s Justin Champagnie had 41 rebounds last week, If the Panthers had played one more game he would have surpassed Buddy Boeheim’s total from last season
  • Kentucky’s season is going so poorly that John Calipari asked Worldwide Wes if the Knicks were still looking for a coach
  • Never thought Remy Martin was going to top that verse on “All the Way Up” but dropping 31 on the Antelopes even made Fat Joe lean back
  • You like outdated pop culture references, bunky? Then you would have loved that St Johns-Georgetown overtime game
  • Nate Oats got so many head coaches mad at him that SBNation asked him to become the lead college editor
  • Jeff Capel ran to Coach K’s defense faster than he covered a pick and roll against UNC
  • It looks like having to focus on Notre Dame kept Dabo from running Clemson’s basketball team too. Vice-Principal Brownell better watch out when the football season ends
  • Just what outgoing ACC Commissioner John Swofford envisioned when he led the expansion efforts- basketball being led by Florida State and Clemson
  • You know this is a weird year when North Carolina’s running backs are more likely to score from distance than anyone on the Tar Heels hoops squad
  • National Signing Day- when dreams come true... for fans who become that meme where the guy ignores his girlfriend to look at another woman
  • Syracuse did some album mock-ups and if you were able to identify more than five of the 19, we then guess you’re not as washed as the Nunes staff.

Time to wrap this up and go listen to my required Springsteen for the week. Got a topic you want to discuss next week? Drop in the comments and we’ll do our best to address it with a whiz-bang.