Freshly squeezed from the sub-basement level of TNIAAM HQ it’s the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- #FakeNunes. We’re going to keep previewing Syracuse Orange football games until someone shuts down the internet
Now onto this week’s game
Opponent: Boston College Eagles
Location: Literally not Boston, Mass
Students: 9,639 students who put their Patriots hats away last Sunday and added #BillsMafia to their profile
The 2020 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)
We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.
Halloween brought us what we expected so this week let’s say SU goes a bit off the normal home look with white helmets orange jerseys and white pants.
Should be the traditional road uniform for BC. Remember when the Eagles wore Russell Athletic uniforms?
Advantage: BC because traditional rivals deserve traditional uniforms
The distance traveled
Something new for this year is to dig through each roster and find the player from the furthest distance from the school. Not their hometown but where they played previous to enrollment. How is that relevant to a game prediction? Can you think of a better measure of “want-to” than measuring how far a player travels? For Syracuse the player is Maximilian Mang from Nuthetal Germany (3,930 miles) while Wake’s candidate is Aidan Livingston from Huntington Beach, CA (2,984 miles).
Football Program Hashtag:
None vs #ForBoston (#GetIn)
Look no one in Boston cares about BC Football so using that over #GetIn is dumb. The latter fits perfect for a new staff trying to gain momentum and plays off Clemson’s #AllIn....still better than nothing
Advantage: Boston College
Alumni Wrestling Connection
As much as we love Mike Rotunda/IRS/Michael Wallstreet around here he can’t compare this week. BC brings former WWE World Heavyweight Champion and current Raw Tag Team Champion Kofi Kingston to the battle ba-beeeeee.
Advantage: Boston College
The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction:
Despite everyone telling you he would, Rex Culpepper starts and several people start a GoFundMe to cover Dino Babers moving expenses. David Bailey starts off running from defenders like he was on a Cape Cod rotary but a defensive touchdown from Syracuse followed by a long Culpepper throw to Anthony Queeley has commenters vowing to name their unborn sons Rex. JaCobian Morgan comes in and leads the Orange on a late drive culminated by a 43 yard Andre Szymt field goal in the final minute and Syracuse loses 31-20