Freshly squeezed from the sub-basement level of TNIAAM HQ it’s the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- #FakeNunes. We’re going to keep previewing Syracuse Orange football games until Rudy Guliani passes them in victories this Fall
Now onto this week’s game...
Opponent: Louisville Cardinals
Location: Actually in Louisville, KY
Students: 21,430 students who secretly root for Kentucky Basketball in March
The 2020 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)
We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.
Back on the road and under the lights we’re calling for Syracuse to go with the all-white look this week. Raise your hands if you think this is a super clean look.
You never know what the Cardinals are going to do but with it being a Friday game and their Senior Night we might see the all-black look from them.
The distance traveled
Something new for this year is to dig through each roster and find the player from the furthest distance from the school. Not their hometown but where they played previous to enrollment. How is that relevant to a game prediction? Can you think of a better measure of “want-to” than measuring how far a player travels? For Syracuse the player is Maximilian Mang from Nuthetal. Germany (3,930 miles) while Louisville’s furthest traveler is Jared Goldwire from Tacoma, Washington (2,353 miles).
Football Program Hashtag:
None vs #GoCards
Simple yet effective and similar enough to St. Louis and Arizona to get on the trending pages.
Alumni Wrestling Connection
Louisville brings their native son and long-time manager and commentator Jim Cornette. Just think of a nerdy Bobby Petrino with a tennis racket and that’s Cornette.Syracuse counters with their own commentator and current voice of Smackdown, Michael Cole.
Advantage: Syracuse because bedazzled tennis rackets aren’t cool
The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction:
Syracuse can’t stop Malik Cunningham to start the game but a big return from Nykeim Johnson gets the momentum back with the Orange. It becomes one of those weird Friday night games as the teams head to halftime tied at 27. With the nation watching JaCobian Morgan announces himself with a fire-drill scramble touchdown throw to Cooper Lutz but the Cardinals get a turnover in the 4th quarter and sneak out a 53-44 win.