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What If?... the incoming Cabinet was all Orange Athletes?

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We’ve annexed Washington D.C... again. Here’s our support staff.

NCAA Men’s Final Four Semifinal - Syracuse v North Carolina Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

With a Syracuse Orange alumnus now heading to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue to take on the duties as President of the United States, come January of next year, it seemed like a good time to help out his transition team. Selecting a quality Cabinet is one of the most important things that can help out a sitting President. It seems like the best way for that Cabinet to be of the most use to the Nation is to make it as Orange as possible. I present to you the most Syracuse Athletics tinted proposed Cabinet for the 46th President of the United States, Joseph R. Biden.


Secretary of State — James Arthur Boeheim

This one goes without saying. The man has a track record of reaching out internationally as the Olympic Team assistant coach, knows his way around Washington from all those matchups with Georgetown and can banter and bite back with those pesky politicians.

Secretary of the Treasury — Mike Rotunda

Who better to handle the Internal Revenue Service and Department of Treasury than Irwin R. Schyster himself? Rotunda played football and wrestled for the Orange before becoming the tag team partner of the Million Dollar Man and fueding with Razor Ramon.

Secretary of Defense — Alex Bono

Keeping clean sheets left and right, Bono should be able to help out in defending anything and everything thrown at him. We’re also giving under-secretary nods to Dwight Freeney, Miles Robinson, and John Galloway.

Attorney General — Kathrine Switzer

Who better to mete out justice than person who brought equality to the Boston Marathon. She was technically not a Syracuse athlete, as this was the pre-Title IX days and there weren’t official women’s athletics on campus, having to train with the men’s team on an “unofficial” basis. I think we’ll bend the rules for this one.

Secretary of the Interior — Etan Thomas

There were few players in Syracuse history that could patrol the Interior like Thomas. While a proclivity for zone defense may not help him with the Bureau of Land Management, Bureau of Indian Affairs or the rest of the purview of the Interior, his post-career work makes me think he’d be more than willing to give it all a shot.

Secretaries of Agriculture — The Powell Brothers

Growing up in Jefferson County, I’m sure the Powells had their share of interacting with Agriculture. That’s about the only link I have and there weren’t too many other rural dwelling famous Syracuse athletes that popped to mind. Between Casey, Ryan and Mike, they should be able to figure something out.

Secretary of Commerce — Dennis Crowley

While he wasn’t a sports guy at Syracuse, Crowley, after starting up a little internet ditty called FourSquare, has been the owner and chairman of Kingston Stockade FC, a fourth tier soccer club located in Kingston, NY. He did pretty good on the startup boom, let’s see what he can do starting up an economy.

Secretary of Labor — Erin Simon

Simon made a career as a fullback for Syracuse, then West Ham United, and currently with the NWSL’s Houston Dash. Fullback, as a position tends to be quite workmanlike, and Erin could definitely put in a shift in the Department of Labor.

Secretary of Health and Human Services — Brad Pike

Pike is the current Associate AD for Sports Medicine. He’s been at the university since 2000 and has a graduate degree in education from Syracuse. As an alum, and about as entrenched as you can get as a member of the Orange family, he’ll also be working with Assistant Secretaries Martin Hehir and Reed Kamyszek, two former cross country runners who are going into medicine.

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development — Eric Devendorf

With the amount of love and effort Devendorf has given back to they Syracuse community, it seems a solid choice to handle the job. The Detroit native has made Syracuse an adopted home and become a community staple, organizing sneaker drives and charitable works for the area. Dave Bing, with experience as the former Mayor of Detroit, may be on hand to give a few tips and tricks as well.

Secretary of Transportation — Justyn Knight

Transportation. Moving. People moving. Moving people. Knight seems to be the perfect fit here. For no other reason than he’s quite famous for moving from one place to another at a very rapid rate. In my knowledge gained from Hamilton, there aren’t any issues with a Canadian being in the US cabinet either. I think this is a win-win all around.

Secretary of Energy — Mike Hopkins

Hopkins had energy and lots of it. Cabinet positions also usually pull people from their currently held jobs creating a vacuum. Sorry, Washington, but this brings Hop home and gives the king of all energy guys for the Orange his rightful spot.

Secretary of Education — Craig Forth

A part of the Syracuse National Championship and a solid educator in his own right, Craig Forth is the slam dunk pick for Secretary of Education. A current principal in the Albany area, Forth would be an asset to the administration and could also give Thomas some help anchoring the (Department of) Defense. Jovan Miller, another Orange who is turning to education after a great athletics career is undoubtedly a solid Undersecretary.

Secretary of Veterans Affairs — Jim Brown

The legend for his work on the Gridiron, Jim Brown was also a ROTC member and active in the reserves even through his NFL career, being honorably discharged as a captain in the reserves. Brown can add this to a lengthy and impressively diverse resume.

Secretary of Homeland Security — Liz Hogan

As a four year starter in goal for the Orange, Hogan was an expert at protecting her crease, and vetting anything that comes her way. The standout will have problems from a multitude of diverse departments being thrown at her, from the Coast Guard to FEMA, but as a goalie, she’s used to things rocketing at her from all directions.