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#FakeNunes previews Syracuse vs Duke

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It’s just like in basketball but with cooler coaches

Syracuse v Duke Photo by Grant Halverson/Getty Images

Freshly squeezed from the sub-basement level of TNIAAM HQ it’s the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- #FakeNunes. We’re the tribal chiefs now and this is what we demand for a Syracuse Orange preview.

Now onto this week’s game

Opponent: Duke Blue Devils

Location: Durham, NC which won’t get a Wegman’s because Coach K won’t retire and let Boeheim take the wins lead

Students: 6,596 Yankees and Cowboys fans

The 2020 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)

We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.

Uniforms:

Syracuse

The Orange tend to mix things up each game so after we saw the traditional home look I’d guess we see a twist so let’s say orange helmets, blue jerseys and blue pants for this one. Take that Blue Devils.

Holy Cross v Syracuse Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images

Duke

The Blue Devils have some pretty good alternate hoops jerseys but Nike gives football the basic template look.

Duke v Virginia Photo by Ryan M. Kelly/Getty Images

Advantage: Syracuse- even if it’s mostly blue this week.

The distance traveled

Something new for this year is to dig through each roster and find the player from the furthest distance from the school. Not their hometown but where they played previous to enrollment. How is that relevant to a game prediction? Can you think of a better measure of “want-to” than measuring how far a player travels? For Syracuse the player is Maximilian Mang from Nuthetal Germany (3,930 miles) while for Duke it’s Luca Diamont from Venice Beach, California (2,536 miles). Not sure if Luca’s bringing his 24-inch phythons to Syracuse this weekend brother.

Advantage: Syracuse

Football Program Hashtag:

None vs #DukeGang

Just seems like we’re leaving some better options on the table here Duke. Like #CutCrew or #TheBrotherhood

Advantage: Duke

Alumni Wrestling Connection

Former Duke All-American Jacob Kasper had a WWE tryout and has been tabbed as future MMA/wrestling star. Former Orange and NFL OL Quinn “Moose” Ojinnaka is currently chasing titles in Impact Wrestling

Advantage: Syracuse

The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction:

Syracuse fans remember Chase Brice as the guy who prevented them from back-to-back upset wins over Clemson. Brice comes out hitting on Saturday as Duke takes a halftime lead. The Orange turn to a Nolan Cooney fake punt to change momentum and rally to win the game when Brice fails to complete a 4th and 8 pass in the final minute.