Freshly squeezed from the sub-basement level of TNIAAM HQ it’s the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- #FakeNunes. We’re going to give you this Syracuse Orange preview no matter how much it hurts.
Now onto this week’s game
Opponent: Clemson Tigers
Location: Clemson, SC
Students: 19,564 and at least a couple hundred of them are related to Mark Packer or Kirk Herbstreit
The 2020 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)
We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.
The Orange will likely go with the all-white road uniforms this week. It’s a clean look especially for Noon kickoff.
The Tigers will likely go with their home uniform of orange helmet, orange jersey and white pants. They save their orange pants for big games and well this one’s not really high on their list.
Advantage: Clemson. If you’re favored by 40+ you’re going to look better
The distance traveled
Something new for this year is to dig through each roster and find the player from the furthest distance from the school. Not their hometown but where they played previous to enrollment. How is that relevant to a game prediction? Can you think of a better measure of “want-to” than measuring how far a player travels? For Syracuse the player is Maximilian Mang from Nuthetal Germany (3,930 miles) while Clemson’s rep is D.J. Uiagalelei from Inland Empire, California (2,296 miles).
Football Program Hashtag:
None vs #AllIn
The way that the Syracuse offense has played it’s good that #OITNF was retired, but maybe the fact that Syracuse has nothing is why the team is struggling?
Alumni Wrestling Connection
Former Clemson standout William “The Refrigerator” Perry was one of 20 competitors in a battle royal at WrestleMania 2. Syracuse alum Mike Rotunda had three tag-team title matches at WrestleMania, including a successful title defense over the team of Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake
The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction:
Watch Miracle. Leave some rum for Jobu. Treat someone to a pumpkin spice latte every day this week. Create a cringy Tik Tok video a la Dabo. Whatever it takes for the Orange to leave Death Valley with enough healthy players for the season to continue.
We can’t even get crazy enough to predict a Syracuse win for this one.