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What do you get when you match a team that can’t shoot against a team that can’t stop anyone? We’ll find out when the inaccurate Virginia Cavaliers take on the resistible Syracuse Orange
Opponent: Virginia Cavaliers
Location: Charlottesville, Va.
Students: 23,800 students wondering if Bryce Perkins can also make three-pointers
The 2019-20 Fake Nunes Equation of Tumult (#FNET)
You wanted something more ridiculous than RPI and the NCAA gave you NET. We give you more ridiculousness so we bring back the FNET metric.
Head Coach Bench Attire:
Notice how comfortable Tony Bennett looks even while he argues with an official. When you’re #TeamNoTie you don’t get stressed even as you’re losing a game to Boston College.
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At this point in the season Jim Boeheim should just coach in his Syracuse track suit. Why suffer through these games in that uncomfortable suit and tie.
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Advantage: Virginia.
NBA 2K Playability:
Syracuse has had a couple of games where they couldn’t make shots but Virginia’s had an entire season of bad offense. What we said last time still stands.
Advantage: Syracuse because you don’t play video games to show off a stifling defense.
Basketball Program Hashtag:
None vs #GoHoos
At this point it’s clear that the Syracuse social media team has just decided to not even try this year. Disappointing.
Advantage: Virginia
ACC Social Media Favorites:
Lots of people talking about how bad it is that Braxton Key is hurt. Were was this same sympathy for Robert Braswell or Jalen Carey?
Advantage: Virginia
Boeheim Jacket Toss Meter
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3.1/10 There were two great opportunities for Jim to lock up the victory for the Orange. Syracuse had leads and yet the jacket stayed on despite what the analytics say. We don’t expect to see anything different in Charlottesville
Wrestling Theme Song for this game
What better way to represent the reigning ACC/National Champions than with Le Champion himself. It’s also fitting to go with the Painmaker version of Chris Jericho since watching Virginia Basketball is a painful experience for everyone in 2020.
Prediction:
The thought of this game has caused the #FakeNunes staff to leave the country. We’ll just stay positive and say that no matter what the Orange will remain #CanadasCollegeTeam