clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

#FakeNunes previews Syracuse vs Holy Cross

It’s like 1959 all over again

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.

Western Michigan v Syracuse Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images

That’s right, baby. It’s your boys (#FakeNunes) and we’re back to bring you the only weekly preview you didn’t know you needed, but actually do need because without it you wouldn’t be ready for a Syracuse Orange gameday.... or something like that. This week a classic rival returns to CNY for battle on the gridiron.

Opponent: Holy Cross Crusaders

Location: Worcester Massachusetts which isn’t where Worchester sauce originated but it is where the Pawtucket Red Sox will be calling home...excuse me a second while I vomit...anyway

Students: 3,102

The 2019 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)

Once again we bring you categories that no other preview will give you because that’s what we do best.


Syracuse wants to keep playing with their new combinations but was anyone really clamoring for this one?

Purple is a regal color and the all-white road uniform makes Holy Cross look like Northwestern (minus the technology hating head coach)

Advantage: Holy Cross because it’s a cleaner look and you’d rather remind people of Northwestern than Illinois

Strength & Conditioning Coach Last Man Standing Match:

Something new for this year is to compare the two S&C coaches and tell you which one would win a Last Man Standing match. This week it’s Sean Edinger against Chris Gratuski. Just judging the beard game on this one folks means we think Edinger’s experience is the difference here

Advantage: Syracuse because we aren’t going against Edinger in this one

NCAA Football: Louisville at Syracuse Mark Konezny-USA TODAY Sports

Football Program Hashtag:

#OITNF vs #GoCrossGo

Simple and easy to chant. We like that.

Advantage: Holy Cross

Pop Culture Alum: Each week we’ll compare alums who are relevant in pop culture

Bill Simmons vs Nick Wright

That’s correct. It’s a battle of two sports media members who spend a lot of time on opposite sides when it comes to opinions about Lebron James.

Advantage: Syracuse because Lebron’s made a career out of beating the Celtics so what’s one more loss for the Sports Guy

Overly Optimistic SU Fan Prediction from MrSUFootball

Look folks, you predict 10 wins correctly and you absolutely get to return for a second season. I mean can any of you prove that @MrSUFootball wasn’t the reason that Syracuse won 10 games last year.

While his Four Downs of Reasoning remains on hiatus, MrSU Football sent us another video to get ready for the game

There was no explanation given but maybe the metaphor here is that Syracuse Football shouldn’t worry about distractions or outside noise and that they should just keep driving forward??..I mean this is pretty deep for this #jokesandgarbage

New for 2019

The Fist-Pump TD counter where we keep track of all of Syracuse’s offensive touchdowns on the season. Get the official t-shirt here and let’s hope we’ll turning the Dome into 49,000 fist-pumping maniacs

Current Fist Pump TD Counter: 13! That’s right the Orange more than doubled the output from weeks 1-3 so let’s do that again this week.

The Sackacuse Tally tracking all QB sacks this season We are sitting at 11 after four games and let’s just go ahead and double this one on Saturday.

Camping World Bowl - West Virginia v Syracuse Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images

The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction:

Something tells us that these Crusaders are going to be sent home unsuccessful from this journey west on I-90. The good news is that on the return trip they can stop at Roy Rogers and drown their sorrows in onion rings.