“Awwwwww....Syracuse...don’t you dare be sour.
Clap for your Camping World Bowl Champions and feeeellll the powerrrrrr!
It’s a New Year yes it is!”
That’s right, baby. It’s your boys (#FakeNunes) and we’re back to bring you the only weekly preview you didn’t know you needed, but actually do need because without it you wouldn’t be ready for a Syracuse Orange gameday.... or something like that. Let’s get to the preview shall we?
Opponent: Liberty Flames
Location: Lynchburg, Virginia — not to be confused with the much more important Lynchburg, Tennessee.
Students: Over 100,000, which is approximately how many escorts Hugh Freeze called during his Ole Miss tenure as well.
The 2019 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)
Once again we bring you categories that no other preview will give you because that’s what we do best.
We know Cuse will be breaking out their new uniforms for the first time and it’s going to be the traditional road uniform — orange helmet, white jersey and orange pants.
First look at our new unis this weekend. pic.twitter.com/OknRfF4DHV— Syracuse Football (@CuseFootball) August 28, 2019
Liberty should be in their traditional home uniforms with red helmets, red jerseys and white pants
Advantage: Syracuse because new uniforms are always exciting
Strength & Conditioning Coach Last Man Standing Match:
Something new for this year is to compare the two S&C coaches and tell you which one would win a Last Man Standing match. This week it’s Sean Edinger against Dominic Studzinski. Yeah you read that right and well sometimes you just have to tip your hat.
Advantage: Liberty because it’s hard to pick against a stud but please let’s agree that we won’t tell Sean about this ok?
Football Program Hashtag:
#OITNF vs #L19htEmUp #FIRE2T0RM
Starting this year off with things we hate: old hashtags, multiple hashtags and numbers as letters. Liberty should have just stayed with Lightin’ Mups but what is Fire 2 Torm all about? Is that some new Christian rapper on Soundcloud?
Advantage: Syracuse because two wrongs make a loss in this category (*what’s that you’re telling us about #JuicedUp as an Orange hashtag? No, definitely not acknowledging that for our purposes here)
Pop Culture Alum: Each week we’ll compare alums who are relevant in pop culture
For this match-up we look at two NBA players who also have a sibling playing in the NBA. Last season Curry averaged 9.3 points and 1.6 rebounds per game while shooting 45.6% from the field. Grant averaged 13.6 points and 5.2 rebounds per game while shooting 49.7% from the field.
Advantage: Syracuse because numbers never lie
Overly Optimistic SU Fan Prediction from @MrSUFootball
Look folks, you predict 10 wins correctly and you absolutely get to return for a second season. I mean can any of you prove that @MrSUFootball wasn’t the reason that Syracuse won 10 games last year.
“Who missed me? The dark, long off season is finally over and god’s sport the most beautiful time of year is upon us. Syracuse football, awwwww man oh man I have slight moisture running down from my eyelids typing this that it is finally game week again. Here is my predication Syracuse 62 and Liberty 10.
Here are my four downs of reasonings:
1) Biggest game in program history... that’s right Liberty is putting that out in their pre game ads and it’s cute and all. I do respect that in the sense that every game Syracuse Football plays is my life and it feels like in the moment it’s the most monumental thing to ever happen to me. We are going to leave those fake clown show fans (their student section wears clown masks) what it’s like to be taken to the woodshed and paddled properly. We need to smack them right away with a bomb from Tommy d to Nykiem Johnson, and then crush their hearts running inside and outside with Neal, Adams and Howard.
2) Coaching, I’ve never been more confident in a coach to execute a game plan like I am in living legend Dino Babers, regardless if we have not seen opponent and with their new coach in slimeball hugh freeze, I expect us to be able to figure out weakness and breakdown anything that needs to be down in game. It’s refreshing and reassuring that a Syracuse coach can do that. Anytime I hear Babers speak my heart flutters like when I used to hear Skippy’s ice cream truck jingle all the way down the street as a child.
3) Defensive line play, we have the two best bookends in college football history in Alton Robinson and Kendall Coleman and we are going to eat that junior varsity offense line of liberty for supper. I expect us to have 8- 10 sacks in the game and Hugh freeze will be throwing in the white towel by the end of the 3rd quarter. There is a new world order in college football and it’s coming from Syracuse, New York and we will show the country again under the flood lights in hostile territory that we are just tooooo sweeeet.
4) Just savor every single game that this team plays, it’s a 3.5 month season if things go are way, it comes and goes so quick so make sure you stop and really take in what is happening. It’s absolutely amazing that we are in the top 25 to start the season and I have to pinch myself everyday to realize this is reality and isn’t a dream. Please try to do the same, and while your doing that play the Friday Night Lights theme to really get the images blasting. On that note the goal and hope is 1-0 come Saturday night and it’s so so special that Syracuse football season is underway. Keep believing y’all!!!
Ladies and gentlemen the human hype video is ready so there are no excuses for you not to feel the same way....
New for 2019
For the new year we’ll have a new statistic to track throughout the season. The Fist-Pump TD counter where we keep track of all of Syracuse’s offensive touchdowns on the season. Get the official t-shirt here and make your guess in the comments on how many offensive touchdowns the Orange score this year and see if you earn bragging rights.
Current Fist Pump TD Counter: 0
The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction: For the 1st half we’ll be asking why Syracuse is opening with a road game like this but in the second half the Orange defense takes over. This sets up the offense with great field position as Syracuse pulls away for a double-digit win: 41-23.