Once we saw the note about North Carolina serving White Claw alcoholic seltzer this week, we knew we had to fire up the #jokesandgarbage machine and give you the OFFICIAL in-stadium beverage for each ACC Football program. As this is typically a beer-focused publication, you’ll find plenty of that below. But we didn’t limit ourselves to brews, either.
Boston College Eagles: Boom Sauce from Lord Hobo because being a Dude means drinking something that makes you feel like you ran into the line thirty times.
Clemson Tigers: Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR). You know exactly what you’re getting, it’s not nearly as hated as other beers lumped into the group, but we’d all like something else if given the chance.
Duke Blue Devils: Bon & Viv Spiked Seltzer. It’s pretty much the same as North Carolina but we’re going to listen them argue how it most definitely is not because Bon & Viv is sugar-free.
Florida State Seminoles: Coors Light. You need something light if you’re going to survive 4 1⁄2 hours for a FSU game, and Coors is definitely the worst of the “lite beers” out there.
Meet the shirtless guy at the Florida State game who was reading a book.— The Athletic CFB (@TheAthleticCFB) October 28, 2018
He's a professor! https://t.co/YeU6xdoCyC
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets: Jack Daniels’ Black Jack Cola cocktail. After a couple of these, some fans are going to be wondering why the quarterback is throwing the ball so dang much.
Louisville Cardinals: Jim Beam. Straight. You’re not going to want to remember this season if you’re a Cardinals fan.
Miami-Florida Hurricanes: Four Loko Blaze. If the ‘Canes don’t solve their QB issues then fans are going to want to burn everything down and block out the entire ACC era... more than they already have, somehow.
North Carolina Tar Heels: we’ll let them keep the White Claw claim. It goes well with argyle.
N.C. State Wolfpack: They can have their New Belgium Old Tuffy release because we can’t argue with this perfect taste description for the Wolfpack — “Slight sweetness with a very slightly bitter finish.”
Pittsburgh Panthers: IC Lite, because it’s the Pittsburgh Beer, but it’s also the one where you go “Hmm, I’ll give it a shot because it can’t be that badohmygod it’s that bad.”
Syracuse Orange: According to @MrSUFootball this year’s Cuse drink is the Natural Light Aloha Beaches seltzer and we trust his expertise in this area after he went 10-3 as a week-to-week SU prognosticator last year.
That's right, we made a f***ing seltzer.— Natural Light (@naturallight) August 12, 2019
Introducing the two newest members of the Natural Light fam: Catalina Lime Mixer & Aloha Beaches. 6% ABV hard seltzer. LFG pic.twitter.com/MXAcGuCQVE
Virginia Cavaliers: Dreaming Tree Rosé because that pairs well with a nice Charcuterie board and some freshly-pressed Banana Republic khakis.
Virginia Tech Hokies: Wild Turkey Bourbon. If you’re going to embrace the Gobbler brand, then you need to fully embrace it.
Wake Forest Demon Deacons: The Underwood Pinot Noir will be perfect for when you want to be casual, but still try and fit in with your more pretentious neighbors.
What did we get right? And what did we get completely wrong about these characterizations? Share your own official beverage selections below.