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What if they remade The Lion King using ACC football squads?

The battle for control of Charlotte Rock is about to begin

Can the hyenas maintain control?

When we prepare for the new ACC Football season around here, we embark on our usual previews and that includes some patented #jokesandgarbage comparisons. This year we’re going to include one of the summer’s most anticipated movies as we give you ACC football programs as characters from the Lion King, and we’re going to focus on the era of ACC football which started with the 2004 expansion.

Since #jokesandgarbage are pretty much our “Circle of Life,” in the internet world let’s go:

Mufasa - Virginia Tech Hokies

As soon as they joined the ACC the Hokies took control over the land and kept the Charlotte Rock community flourishing. They appeared in six ACC title games in their first eight years in the league winning four titles in that time.

Simba - Miami-Florida Hurricanes

Legend decreed that they would be the ones to carry the community forward but they failed their first test and decided it would be more fun to pal around and leave the hard work to others. Everyone in Charlotte (home of the ACC title game) waits for Miami to return and claim their throne but those hopes have been unfulfilled no matter how many times they sing about being King.

Scar - Florida State Seminoles

Stole the crown away from Miami by convincing the Canes that they were a little scared baby that no one really liked so they should disappear before they were shunned. After assuming the power they watched as things crumbled because FSU got lazy. While they believed they were running things a group behind them was building power and leaving the Seminoles as a weakened figure head ripe for takeover and blissfully unaware of what was about to happen.

Hyenas

They used Florida State’s lack of leadership to pick the bones of Pride Charlotte Rock for their own benefit. When it came time to stand with Florida State they refused because they were the ones holding the power. Even among the hyenas it was clear which one had the plan, which one was good and which dude was just there to go along with the plan and pick the bones of the defeated.

Timon - Syracuse Orange

Syracuse thought they could coast along in the ACC spouting off ridiculous catchphrases like Hakuna Matata or “3-0. 24 years”. Fortunately a couple of Dino Babers pep talks and they were able to find the courage to take on the hyenas.

Pumba - Pittsburgh Panthers

Just like the warthog Pitt is most dangerous when attacking straight ahead. You don’t expect them to be a threat yet every season they are knocking off threats with their smashmouth approach.

Nala - Virginia Cavaliers

While Miami was off living a carefree life Virginia was grinding away trying to make life better for their home. If you think about it Nala’s the one who did more to preserve the community and so when Virginia wins the Coastal this year that’s really just demonstrating who really did the most work in the Simba-Nala relationship.

Rafiki - North Carolina Tar Heels

Who else can fill the role of the old man who speaks in nonsensical riddles that people don’t understand and just sort of wonders off? Welcome back Mack.

Zazu - N.C. State Wolfpack

Both do a lot of squawking and fail to back it up. No offense to Dave Doeren but if you’re really back, prove it first and then we’ll talk about it.

NCAA Football: North Carolina State at North Carolina Rob Kinnan-USA TODAY Sports

Sarabi - Duke Blue Devils

Often overlooked they provided a vital role in holding the Charlotte Rock community together during the dark times. Although mostly in the background their status among the group earns them respect.

Sarafina - Wake Forest Demon Deacons

Nala’s mother has one line of dialogue in the film and Wake had one season of great success since the expansion. With or without them the story could still be told the same way.

The rest of the Pride Rock community - Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets

Throw a bunch of random animals together for the background of scenes and that’s how we feel about Georgia Tech right now. They’ve got a roster of Paul Johnson’s players being thrust into a new system and no one’s sure what it’s going to look like. Maybe in a couple of years they’ll evolve and fit as one of the next generation but for now this works.