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#FakeNunes previews Syracuse vs. North Florida

Osprey? Isn’t that an town in Oswego County?

NCAA Basketball: North Florida at Florida State Melina Myers-USA TODAY Sports

Ok let’s see who the next Syracuse Orange opponent hails from Syracuse South, can we get a DUUUVALLL! Actually we don’t want that because it appears Jacksonville won’t be Syracuse South much longer.

Opponent: North Florida Ospreys

Location: Jacksonville, Fla.

Students: 16,958 students who don’t know how much they’ll miss Doug Marrone when he’s gone

The 2019-20 Fake Nunes Equation of Tumult (#FNET)

You wanted something more ridiculous than RPI and the NCAA gave you NET. We give you more ridiculousness so we bring back the FNET metric.

Head Coach Bench Attire:

Every picture of Matthew Driscoll in the photo archives features him without a jacket and making an anguished face like this.

NCAA Basketball: North Florida at Connecticut David Butler II-USA TODAY Sports

(*Adds entry into potential Boeheim replacement notebook)

If you think Jim Boeheim’s just going to let you come into his house and toss your jacket while you scream on the sidelines well you don’t know Jim Boeheim. Add to that the fact that the Jacksonville Jaguars fired Cuse alum Tom Coughlin and oh buddy will there be hell to pay on Saturday night. (not that Buddy*)

*Actually maybe that Buddy too if he misses a couple of zone rotations

COLLEGE BASKETBALL: MAR 08 ACC Tournament - Syracuse v Miami Photo by Rich Graessle/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Advantage: Syracuse because the original is always better than the reboot.

NBA 2K Playability:

The Ospreys have three starters shooting over 40% from 3. Carter Hendricksen leads the team in scoring and rebounding and he’s also been the most frequent non-Kentucky player discussed on Lexington sports radio. Meanwhile Elijah Hughes shot 50% from 3 against Oakland and reminded you he can still do this

Advantage: North Florida because trolling Coach Cal always wins

Basketball Program Hashtag:

None vs #SWOOPLife #BirdsofTrey

Oh Ospreys what are you doing?? On their own either one of those would be outstanding so why don’t you pick one? I mean #BirdsofTrey is among the best we’ve seen. So so close but rules are rules.

Advantage: Syracuse but it doesn’t make us feel good

ACC Social Media Favorites:


Advantage: UNF

Boeheim Jacket Toss Meter

NCAA Basketball: Georgia Tech at Syracuse Mark Konezny-USA TODAY Sports

Before we give you this game’s rating, let’s go back to what we said before the Oakland game:

We crunched the analytics on this one and with Syracuse at home and favored to win we are on high alert for the first jacket toss of December.”

Now there’s no way Jim lets Driscoll out-toss him on a Saturday night special. After the “sickening” backlash, we might be looking at the rare first-half toss. 9.99/10

Wrestling Theme Song for this game

Former WWE Divas Champion Kelly Kelly hails from Jacksonville and made an appearance at Syracuse Crunch game earlier this season. What you might not have known is her theme song “Holla” appears on the pre-game playlist of Bourama Sidibe.


Syracuse wins by six. In response to Boeheim’s comments after Wednesday night’s game several Syracuse fans stand the entire game and after the final buzzer they receive Buy One Get One 50% Off coupons for Jreck Subs from Boeheim himself.