ACC basketball rankings week six: Half the conference takes the week off and the entire league is bad, so who’s No.1?

Ed. note (Jk, I wrote this) — This is a precautionary note meant to inform you that ACC basketball rankings will not take place on Monday, December 23. I will be down in the Florida Keys for Christmas with family and I am far too lazy to take time away from adult beverages and family to rank teams. ACC basketball rankings will resume on December 30. Please send all complaints to Sean Keeley. Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, we welcome you back for another week of the proud and preeminent TNIAAM ACC basketball rankings. These rankings are meant to reflect teams’ true value, position within the conference and otherwise objectively reflect their ability come March. You are to take these rankings literally and in the highest regard.

With all that said, if college basketball has never made sense before, it officially makes no sense at all now as nobody, and I mean NOBODY, wants to be No. 1 in college hoops.

Louisville became the fourth No. 1 team to go down this season, remarkable when you consider that No. 1 has lost in four out of the six weeks in college basketball to this point.

Given the madness, all signs point to one thing. There will be completely unpredictable upsets come March that nobody sees coming, a double-digit seed will become beloved by America, nobody outside of the blue blood fan bases will cheer on the favorites and...

Duke is going to win the National Championship over Kansas.

With that, the time has come to slander with jokes and garbage rank ACC basketball teams. Seemingly half the conference was taking on a form of load management last week, choosing not to schedule games during finals. What kind of soft college basketball culture have we created? Since when do we value the student in student-athlete?

Blame conference realignment and the break-up of the old Big East, I guess.

Photo by Rich Graessle/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

1. Louisville (10-1, 2-0)

Last week: Loss to Texas Tech, win over EKU

I know what you’re thinking. Louisville stays at No. 1? What kind of bullsh*t is that?

Well, I’ll tell you. Although my ranking methodology is not disclosed to the general public, it would go against conventional wisdom having a team that played zero games last week slide up into the No. 1 spot. Seriously, Virginia, Duke and Florida State all took the week off. We can’t give the top spot to some load-management taking softies.

Anyway, Jordan Nwora was looking like an absolute chuck artist who was trying to raise his draft stock against Texas Tech, but he rebounded against Eastern Kentucky by dropping 26 points on just 14 shots. He’s still the front-runner for ACC Player of the Year.

Steven Enoch was back to being a bully against EKU, scoring 23 points in just 20 minutes.

Louisville remains on top, for now.

2. Virginia (8-1, 2-0)

Last week: Absolutely nothing

Virginia took a page out of Georgia Tech’s book and welcomed time away from the hardwood. The Hoos did not play a game last week and won’t play another until Wednesday.

That’s 10 days without a game. Tony Bennett’s team stays at No. 2 in the rankings solely based on principle.

Never mind my hypocritical double-standard of taking the next week off of ACC basketball rankings. Let’s just gloss over that and move onto the next team that didn’t play anybody.

3. Duke (9-1, 1-0)

Last week: Nothing

Duke basketball has 13 days off in between games. The softest of all ACC teams with that extended hiatus.

Not even Georgia Tech, who has only played eight games to this point, has taken that many consecutive days off.

4. Florida State (8-2, 1-1)

Last week: Nothing

Nine days off in between games? We’d expect that out of insufferable elitists like Duke and Virginia, but not a Leonard Hamilton coached team.

What is it with you all?

5. NC State (8-2, 1-1)

Last week: Win over UNC Greensboro on a game-winner

Hats off to NC State on becoming the second best team in the triangle, surpassing North Carolina.

Markell Johnson is the current goat in Raleigh.

This was a quality win for NC State, but UNC Greensboro proved that it has no value as a half-court buzzer beating defensive team this season.

Next.

Nell Redmond-USA TODAY Sports

6. North Carolina (6-4, 1-1)

Last week: Loss to Wofford

To be fair, North Carolina was without Cole Anthony (right knee injury), Leaky Black (ankle sprain) and Sterling Manley (left knee surgery) against Wofford. Manley is done for the season.

But consider this: North Carolina lost at home to a team with starters whose last names were Goodwin, Larson, Hoover, Murphy and Stumpe. Storm Murphy was out there looking like Fletcher Magee for Wofford.

It’s going to be tough to win games when you have Andrew Platek as your leading bench scorer. Maybe Carolina will never play at Carmichael Arena again after this.

***

We interrupt these rankings to bring you ACC basketball trivia, brought to you in part by Clemson football fans still feeling disrespected and Roy Williams being the most frustrated he’s ever been.

Now back to your regularly scheduled jokes and garbage.

7. Virginia Tech (8-3, 1-1)

Last week: Wins over Chattanooga and Gardner-Webb

Landers Nolley was giving out buckets, but a pair of wins over two mediocre squads isn’t quite enough to get Virginia Tech over North Carolina. Does anyone after UNC even look like an NCAA Tournament squad?

8. Pittsburgh (7-3, 1-1)

Last week: Nothing

As an old Big East school, we’d expect more from Pittsburgh.

On the other hand, maybe Pitt was just doing us all a favor so we didn’t have to witness that eye-sore of a three-point shooting team.

9. Miami (6-3, 0-1)

Last week: Win over Alabama A&M

Kam McGusty dropped 21 on Alabama A&M and DJ Vasiljevic went 5-6 from deep in that game. How many times do I have to say that Vasiljevic the best 3-point shooter in the ACC before people recognize it as indisputable fact?

Sam Waardenburg is stepping up in the front-court. Maybe Miami has a chance to climb in the rankings?

Photo by Jeffrey Brown/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

10. Notre Dame (8-3, 0-2)

Last week: Wins over Detroit and UCLA

Notre Dame might’ve given up four 3s to Brad Calipari, but the Irish still dropped 110 points on the no-defense Detroit Mercy Davises. Antoine Davis was held in check to only 27 points and if that sounds silly, do note that its only his fourth highest scoring total of the season.

Mike Brey’s squad also picked up a good-but-not-great win over UCLA. John Mooney gets double-doubles like nobody’s business — he had two more last week and has eight of ‘em in 10 games this season.

Still, an 0-2 Notre Dame conference record and loss to Boston College keeps it below Miami in the rankings.

11. Syracuse (5-5, 1-1)

Last week: Loss to Georgetown

Syracuse might be bad, but at least it isn’t afraid to schedule games after finals and travel to an old Big East foe’s home.

However, the Orange gave up the most points to Georgetown in regulation game since 2010.

If this team has any hope of playing in the post-season, it’ll have to do some fine-tuning on the defensive end.

12. Clemson (5-5, 0-2)

Last week: Loss to South Carolina

Aamir Simms had 21 points against South Carolina, but Clemson has taken four straight Ls.

Brad Brownell is still wearing that plaid suit for some reason. To make matters worse, he’s wearing no-tie shirts with... ties. If Brownell wants to earn any respect he’s going to have to start winning games and stop having his mom dress him.

Photo by David Allio/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

13. Wake Forest (6-5, 0-2)

Last week: Win over Xavier

What a win for Wake Forest over Xavier, vaulting the Demon Deacons two spots in the rankings. Even a blind squirrel can find a nut every once in a while.

Seriously, congratulations to Wake for being the 13th best team in the ACC.

14. Georgia Tech (4-4, 1-1)

Last week: Loss to Kentucky

Kudos to Georgia Tech for hanging with Kentucky for much of the game at Rupp in a contest that was closer than what the final score would suggest. Equally as impressive was doing it while Michael Devoe and James Banks (foul trouble) were limited.

The Yellow Jackets really were close to pulling the upset, but close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

15. Boston College (7-5, 2-0)

Last week: Wins over Albany and Central Connecticut

It’s a shame that Boston College didn’t lose to a winless Central Connecticut team on Sunday. It would’ve been really funny to remind people that Jim Christian the head coach of a power five program.

Boston College and Wake had previously been jockeying for last place in the league. It’s been a race to the bottom for those two teams, but Boston College takes the edge this week after Wake accidentally beat Xavier.

The only way it could be get any worse for Boston College is by turning into Rutgers.

Answer to the ACC basketball trivia question: William & Mary on March 16, 2010 in the NIT. Perhaps some foreshadowing of where UNC is headed in 2020?

Hit me on twitter @JamesSzuba