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That’s right, baby. It’s your boys (#FakeNunes) and we’re back to bring you the only weekly preview you didn’t know you needed, but actually do need because without it you wouldn’t be ready for a Syracuse Orange gameday.... or something like that. This week it’s the game we look forward to each season.
Opponent: Bye Week University Fightin’ Byes
Location: Parts Unknown
Students: 22,222
The 2019 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)
Once again we bring you categories that no other preview will give you because that’s what we do best.
Uniforms:
Syracuse was planning to debut a top-secret “Kings in the North” set that actually shot flames out of the stripes on the sleeves. Unfortunately one of the administrators was showing it off and torched the entire equipment room like a freshman in the dining hall who never used a toaster before.
Bye Week U will be in their traditional white jerseys and gray pants because when the #BRAND is bland that’s what you do.
Advantage: Syracuse since they are no longer a threat to burn down the Dome
Strength & Conditioning Coach Last Man Standing Match:
Something new for this year is to compare the two S&C coaches and tell you which one would win a Last Man Standing match. This week it’s Sean Edinger against Snidely Whiplash the latest in a trend of S&C coaches who have funny moustaches that scream “Look at Me” during broadcasts.
Advantage: Syracuse because Edinger doesn’t need a gimmick to get you to notice him
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Football Program Hashtag:
#OITNF vs #ByeByeBye
Admit you just sang that....it’s ok to be honest.
Advantage: Bye Week U because it’s got a dance to go with it
Pop Culture Alum: Each week we’ll compare alums who are relevant in pop culture
Matthew Berry vs Spike Hammersmith
ESPN Fantasy Sports guru Berry is the person you turn to each week to get your football roster ready to dominate your friends and co-workers. Hammersmith was a Pee Wee Football Legend who became Bye U’s biggest recruit. Unfortunately without evaporated milk available for his nightly massages Hammersmith tore both hamstrings making a tackle and had his football career ended.
Advantage: Syracuse
Overly Optimistic SU Fan Prediction from MrSUFootball
Look folks, you predict 10 wins correctly and you absolutely get to return for a second season. I mean can any of you prove that @MrSUFootball wasn’t the reason that Syracuse won 10 games last year.
While his Four Downs of Reasoning remains on hiatus, MrSU Football sent us another video to get ready for this week’s game
We agree that this would be a great time for the Orange to get together for a song and dance number...but not behind bars.
New for 2019
The Fist-Pump TD counter where we keep track of all of Syracuse’s offensive touchdowns on the season. Get the official t-shirt here and let’s hope we’ll turning the Dome into 40,000* fist-pumping maniacs
Current Fist Pump TD Counter: 18 Unlike blackjack we’re hitting on 18 here. Let the chips fall where they may.
The Sackacuse Tally tracking all QB sacks this season After a 5 sack performance last week, the Orange D is up to 16 after five games.
The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction:
You can never count out a Bino Dabers squad despite their winless record. Syracuse is going to use their special teams advantage to win comfortably