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Being Giacomo Zona

That’s not Jim Boeheim. What are you talking about?

If you pay even a passing glance to politics, you may have noticed an interesting news item this week pertaining to U.S. senator (and former Republican presidential nominee) Mitt Romney. As discovered first by Slate’s Ashley Feinberg, Romney has long had a fake Twitter account... by the name of Pierre Delecto.

Clearly, this got us thinking about other famous individuals that have burner accounts on Twitter to not just let them track conversations, but respond to involved parties with anonymity. One such individual could — in a world where #jokesandgabarge is reality — be Syracuse Orange men’s basketball coach Jim Boeheim.

We polled Twitter on Monday to see what his potential fake name (a la “Delecto”) could be, and the masses did not disappoint. Among the top suggestions:

Bomani takes the cake here, though the Twitter poll resoundingly opted for the name “Giacomo Zona.” Coincidentally, a user by that name popped up shortly after the poll went live.

Where does “Giacomo Zona” come from? It’s the Italian version of James, plus the Latin word for “zone.” Jim’s clever enough, but not so much so to jump through any more hoops than what was just described (at most). Granted, I don’t think he knows or cares what a burner account even is, and barely understands Twitter beyond the fact that it exists and he has SU Athletics run his. Still, we’re suspending some disbelief with this exercise.

So who is Giacomo Zona, the man... err, zone? Well, we try to paint a picture:

Giacomo was born in Leone, Italy in 1944 and immediately took to the family business: making pizza. He only once made truly incredible pizza, but otherwise, the pizza was always good. He left Leone for Syracuse, Italy as a young man, attempting to see what other pizza could be out there. He loved Syracuse’s pizza so much, he’d just stay there. Whenever anyone asked him why Syracuse, he replied “Syracuse is like great pizza 45 minutes after it comes out of the oven and sits on the counter for a bit.”

When not making pizza, Giacomo reads about the arts, tends to his basil garden and watches American college basketball. He’ aware of the Orange in the “other” Syracuse, but rarely watches them play. For doing so would disrupt his ability to make pizza as he deems fit.

He never vacations, and only travels for work, using his brief time in new cities to take in the new culture as he believes to be appropriate. Giacomo heard about Wegmans once, and has since been campaigning to see it arrive in Italy. His ideal afternoon revolves around perusing real estate for his eventual storefront, Due Tre Zona.

Little else is known about Giacomo, save for what he will tweet on occasion. He is an enigma; a unique and introspective person who encourages others to “know their business” and will at times call out “idiota steale” when needed. He very well may be the most interesting man in the world.