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#FakeNunes previews Syracuse Orange vs. Notre Dame Fighting Irish

Oh we’re doing this for hoops now? You know it!

NCAA Basketball: Notre Dame at Syracuse Rich Barnes-USA TODAY Sports

Oh, you thought the #FakeNunes previews were done after football? Well to be honest so did we, but we’ve heard your pleas for more #jokesandgarbage so we’re adding this for each Syracuse Orange ACC men’s basketball game.

Opponent: Notre Dame Fighting Irish

Location: South Bend, Ind.

Students: 1.7 million people who claimed they were connected to ND before Dec 29, 2018. That number dropped to 5 on December 30... wonder why?

The 2019 Fake Nunes Equation of Tumult (#FNET)

You wanted something more ridiculous than RPI well the NCAA gave you NET and we give you the FNET

Head Coach Bench Attire:

Mike Brey’s a charter member of #TeamNoTie and since he’s moved on from the mock turtleneck we think he’s taken a step forward. It’s kind of crazy that basketball coaches still feel the need to wear ties on the sidelines in 2019 so we applaud Brey’s stance. However when he shows up with the unshaven look he gives off the vibe of a district manager hanging at the hotel bar during a regional sales conference. There is such a thing as being too casual on the bench.

NCAA Basketball: Crossroads Classic-Notre Dame at Purdue Thomas J. Russo-USA TODAY Sports

Jim Boeheim is a perfect example of this outdated suit notion. Just let the man come out in a 14 zip and be comfortable. It’s no coincidence that he’s been tossing his jacket off more frequently the last couple of years. It doesn’t matter how tailored your jacket is you can’t be comfortable moving around and screaming at TV Teddy with one on.

Advantage: Notre Dame

NBA 2K Playability:

Unless your name is Stephen Miller and you dream about a bunch of short white guys bombing from 30 feet out, you play video games to dunk on your friends or random people online. Without Bonzie Colson, this is a clear advantage for the Orange.

Advantage: Syracuse

Basketball Program Hashtag:

#CuseMode vs #NotDoneYet

We’ll be honest with you folks, it’s going to be difficult to see #CuseMode getting too many wins this year. I mean you’d think with the popularity of #SICKOMODE that it might see a rejuvenation but sadly not even Travis and Aubrey could save it. On the other Notre Dame gets some points for the clever use of the ND and the message that the program is striving for more.

Advantage: Notre Dame

ACC Social Media Favorites:

Speaking of Bonzie, he made all the ACC folks get all weak-kneed last season but he’s gone. In this case it doesn’t matter as it’s cool to hate Syracuse which is lame because you know if Marek Dolezaj was on Notre Dame he would be trending weekly in North Carolina. I believe the proper saying here is “They hate us because they ain’t us” #WegmansEnvy

Advantage: Notre Dame

NCAA Basketball: Arkansas State at Syracuse Rich Barnes-USA TODAY Sports

Boeheim Jacket Toss Meter

8.5/10 Notre Dame’s got the ability to have some 6’2” white guy hit a few from 30 feet against the zone meaning Jim’s navy blazer could end up hanging from Digger Phelps’ retired banner in the Joyce Center.


It’s going to be a close game and in the final three minutes, Tyus Battle will hit one of his cross-over step-backs and as he runs back up the court he’ll look at Brian Kelly and say “That’s for my man Dungey”. Cuse 75-70.