#FakeNunes preview: Syracuse Orange vs Connecticut Huskies

If it’s Wednesday then you know it’s time for #FakeNunes preview. All the #jokes and garbage you need to get ready for this week’s game.

Opponent: Connecticut Huskies (1-2, 0-1)

Location: A field somewhere in Connecticut

Students: Doesn’t matter, there are more cows anyways.

The 2018 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)

We’ve come up with some new categories this year because if we’ve learned anything from the NCAA this summer it’s to create a metric you own the rights to and no one knows how you calculate the formulas.

Uniforms:

Syracuse has worn a lot of Orange the last two weeks. Can they resist the siren song of #Brand screaming out for Platinum and Blue? UConn’s also got some platinum in their repertoire....

Wait that’s Colgate’s music? What are they doing here and why’s the video like that...

Advantage: Colgate. Yep the FNSI isn’t constrained by any sort of rules so Colgate wins for these awesome throwbacks and that incredible reveal video.

NCAA Football Playability:

David Pindell would certainly allow you to do a lot of damage on broken pass plays, but that’s about all the Huskies have and Syracuse is still going to out-skill them on the outside. Advantage: Syracuse

Football Program Hashtag:

#OITNF vs #RiseAsOne Honestly UConn’s really on #Brand here because they are probably going to rise every morning the rest of the season as a 1-win team. When you’re the second worst team in S&P+, there’s only one direction! Advantage: UConn

Pop Culture Alum: Each week we’ll compare alums who are relevant in pop culture

Sue Bird vs Brittney Sykes

We’re going to go with a WNBA match-up and recognizing Sue Bird who just won her 3rd WNBA title with the Seattle Storm. Brittney’s Atlanta Dream just missed making the Final and we feel strongly that she’ll be back in the title hunt next season. For now we give the edge to Bird who ruthlessly ended the season of fellow UConn alum Diana Taurasi on her way to that 3rd ring. Advantage: UConn

Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports

Overly Optimistic SU Fan Prediction from @MrSUFootball

We’re tired of all your #honoryourcontract and #disloyalidiot comments so each week the most optimistic Syracuse Football fan we know gives you his predictions. Current Prediction Record (3-0)

Editor’s Note: MrSuFootball was last seen swinging from the Carrier Dome roof where he has vowed to remain until the Orange loses a game. We’ve got a team efforting to get his prediction to you.

Update: We got one of the TNIAAM interns to the top of the Dome and here’s the prediction

Syracuse 72 UConn 17. Here are my 4 downs of reason:

1) Randy Edsall- I hate him, you hate him and your mom hates him too. I don’t care he was a former coach and players. All bets were off after he tried running up the score on us in Marrone’s first year, which then ole Dougie gave him the belly punch to let him know we won’t back down. Either way the jealous little step brother aka UConn now that we are in the ACC gets the butt spanking they always deserved.

2) Spread em out- while we are playing some young talented freshmen, UConn is playing young Colgate recruit rejects in their secondary and our intimidating, beast of a WR Corp is going to set school records for 8 different people catching a td pass.

3) the real Vince Howard aka Chance Amie- can our very own Texas Friday night lights qb get his first snaps? Maybe just maybe it would be cool to see him in during the 4th quarter when the wounded Huskies are chasing their tail and turning into puppy chow. Freshmen can play in 4 games and keep the redshirt, so it would be enticing to see him come into the game.

4) 4-0, those aren’t tears in a soldier’s eyes it’s sweat. 4-0 for the first since 1992 could and should happen. As I type this moisture is coming down from my eyes because what a night it could be inside the Loud House if it happens. Enjoy it Syracuse fans we get 12 of these games a year, 13 if we are lucky. I can faintly hear right now the chants walking out of the magnificent Dome Saturday evening to “we want bama, we want bama.”

Jalen Ramsey tells us about the opponents’ QB

If you thought Jalen would keep his opinions to NFL QBs, we’re happy to announce that we got him to speak about SU’s 2018 opponents.

“David Pindell doesn’t suck.”

Victory Cigar Meter

4.4/10. Randy Edsall doesn’t hold any animosity against his alma mater and if his Huskies win, he’ll probably celebrate by donning a sweater vest and drinking a large glass of milk by the Coach Mac tribute on the Dome turf.

Babers Viral Post-Game Locker Room Speech Meter

Just in case you forgot, this is what we said last week...

8/10. Nationally-televised game against a big-name opponent presents an opportunity for Babers to cash in on the spotlight. This Seminoles team might not be CFP contenders but a win would certainly get some eyes focused on Syracuse. Dino knows how to maximize the exposure so he’ll probably have something keyed up.

This week we’ll give it a 2/10

Prediction:

Sorry Woke Randy but in this one the Brothers in RPO tandem of Eric Dungey and Tommy DeVito will be too much for the Huskies to handle.