A modest proposal to change Syracuse’s alma mater to AC/DC’s Thunderstruck

The Syracuse Alma Mater, written in 1893, is fine but it:

• does not rock your balls off;
• does not have any bitchin’ guitar riffs; and
• does not have any thunderstriking.

It’s time that Syracuse ditch its dork opus Alma Mater and adopt AC/DC’s epic poem Thunderstruck as its new alma mater. Thunderstruck is the perfect alma mater for Syracuse for the following reasons:

1. You can sing it shirtless and drunk and people won’t think you’re a weirdo, unlike what happens when you get shirtless and drunk and belt the current Alma Mater in a very private place like court.
2. It has a lot of thunderstriking, which is a core principle taught in Syracuse’s mandatory first-year class General Dynamics of Thunderstriking.
3. Haven’t we all been in a situation where we were in the middle of a railroad track, looked ‘round, and knew there was no turning back? Or that time we rode down the highway, broke the limit, and hit the town going through Texas -- yeah, Texas -- and had some fun? An alma mater should be about these very relatable experiences that all Syracuse graduates go through. Contrastingly, no flag has ever flown for aye, whatever the crap that means.
4. Thunderstruck rocks your balls right off and they don’t stop rocking while on their way to Hell to rock the devil’s balls right off.

125 years without an alma mater that has bitchin’ guitar riffs is too long. It’s time we rise as one and demand that Syracuse change its alma mater to Thunderstruck and start thunderstriking to the sound of the drums beating in our heart.

Please sign my petition here and join my campaign to make Syracuse the most thunderstriking school on the planet.