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#FakeNunes Preview: Syracuse Orange vs. North Carolina Tar Heels

Welcome to the Cassillo Bowl!

NCAA Football: Clemson at Syracuse Gregory Fisher-USA TODAY Sports

If it’s Wednesday, then you know it’s time for #FakeNunes preview. All the #jokesandgarbage you need to get ready for this week’s Syracuse Orange game.

Opponent: North Carolina Tar Heels

Location: Chapel Hill, NC

Students: 29,911

The 2018 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)

We’ve come up with some new categories this year because if we’ve learned anything from the NCAA this summer it’s to create a metric you own the rights to and no one knows how you calculate the formulas.

Uniforms:

The Carolina uniforms are pretty sweet as long as they keep with the traditional look. The argyle is a nice touch, which makes them unique. Syracuse is coming with the All-Orange Everything this week so UNC should be in all-white. This is setting up to a pretty solid matchup for a change.

Advantage: UNC because of the Jumpman logo.

NCAA Football Playability:

There’s nothing unique or special about UNC this year so unless you want your computer Head Coach to have a Smedium polo to show off his biceps, you’re going with the Orange.

Advantage: Syracuse because the PS4 doesn’t care how much you bench

NCAA Football: North Carolina at East Carolina
“Yep I hit 315 on my max last week Scottie”
James Guillory-USA TODAY Sports

Football Program Hashtag:

#OITNF vs #OriginofFlight

Well we do have to hand it to Larry Fedora for encouraging players to transfer out before things get worse and it’s weird because his war on football would seem to indicate he’s all about fight, not flight.

Advantage: Syracuse

Pop Culture Alum: Each week we’ll compare alums who are relevant in pop culture

Jayson Stark vs Peter Gammons

Since it’s approaching World Series time, what better match-up than two of baseball’s veteran journalists. Gammons pioneered the “Sunday Notes” features that in a way serve as ancestors to today’s blogs. Stark became known for reporting on quirky facts and who doesn’t love some strange statistics.

Advantage: Syracuse because while Diamond Notes launched a new era in sports reporting, numbers never lie.

Overly Optimistic SU Fan Prediction from @MrSUFootball

We’re tired of all your #honoryourcontract and #disloyalidiot comments so each week the most optimistic Syracuse Football fan we know gives you his predictions. Current Prediction Record (4-2). Mr SU Football gives us his state of the program at the halfway point:

Syracuse 47 UNC 17 and here are my four downs of reasoning.

1) Ravian Pierce- think our big juco TE is primed to have a huge game. I think we welcome him back into the fold and use his skill set in the middle of the field more then we ever have. 2 tds and over 100 yards rec.

2) Extra Motivation- for me personally I spent the bye week rewatching the Clemson and pitt games in the dark in my basement trying to figure out how I can be a better fan than I am. I think between me self motivating to be louder and a more obnoxious fan, the team has to be frothing at the mouth to get a win and get the season righted again. I expect a flawless performance.

3) A Budding Rivalry- we don’t play them again for 7 years and they don’t come back to the dome for 14 years. So let’s make their fanbase stew over this loss for for almost a decade before we play them again.

4) No Idea- this is probably my worst preview to date but I just want to get in the Dome with 30,000 of my high five’n friends and lose my mind as we try to keep the Dome the most raucous environment in collegiate sports. 6 games left 7 if we’re lucky, enjoy it all Syracuse fans.

MrSUFootball is so amped he doesn’t need four downs to put points on the board.

NFL: Jacksonville Jaguars at Dallas Cowboys Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

Jalen Ramsey tells us about the opponents’ QB

If you thought Jalen would keep his opinions to NFL QBs, we’re happy to announce that we got him to speak about SU’s 2018 opponents.

“Cade Fortin. Nathan Elliott. Those are kickers names. Fedora should play Dazz Newsome if he wants to win. That’s a guy that can do some damage.”

Victory Cigar Meter

1/10: Fedora’s just hanging on by threads right now. He’s not doing anything to draw attention to himself-outside of the halftime curls he’ll pump out in the UNC locker room.

Babers Viral Post-Game Locker Room Speech Meter

3/10: A win here and Babers will likely focus on the task in front of the Orange- bowl eligibility. Expect something subdued if the Orange win.

Prediction:

There’s no John Chapelhillo around this week so we think it’s going to be an Oranged Out Homecoming win.