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#FakeNunes Preview: Syracuse Orange vs Fightin’ Byes

Syracuse v Pittsburgh Photo by Justin Berl/Getty Images

If it’s Wednesday, then you know it’s time for #FakeNunes preview. All the #jokesandgarbage you need to get ready for this week’s Syracuse Orange game.

Opponent: Bye Week Fightin’ Byes

Location: No one knows exactly, which is odd.

Students: 22,222

The 2018 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)

We’ve come up with some new categories this year because if we’ve learned anything from the NCAA this summer it’s to create a metric you own the rights to and no one knows how you calculate the formulas.

Uniforms:

Bye Week goes for a rather plain look, like if the Brooklyn Nets decided to become a college team. However, Syracuse will be debuting a new HYPER F0CUZ PLATNIMUM, featuring an all grey Angry Otto helmet and chrome Otto mascot.

Advantage: Bye Week

NCAA Football Playability:

While we know Syracuse has been in countless editions of the NCAA football franchise, bye week hasn’t appeared in awhile. The last time I tried to download their roster, my Playstation caught fire and suddenly a “Sean Keeley” was asking me to support his Nigerian Prince brother with a social security number.

Advantage: Syracuse because you get to play the game.

Football Program Hashtag:

#OITNF vs #HELP

While you may think Bye Week is waving the white flag, HELP actually stands for Heads Exude Loving Pain. Ok, maybe they do just mean help.

Advantage: Syracuse because we don’t need help, yet.

Pop Culture Alum: Each week we’ll compare alums who are relevant in pop culture

Emme vs Meme

The former Syracuse rower turned model turned businesswoman Emme has been twice named to People Magazine’s Most Beautiful List and her advocacy work helped to change the perception that models could only be size 0. Meme has so many forms and faces that it would take too long to list, but as something which arrives quickly and leaves suddenly it truly represents the Fightin’ Byes.

Advantage: Syracuse because social advocacy contributes more than social media

Dress for Success Be Bold Gala Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for Dress for Success Worldwide

Overly Optimistic SU Fan Prediction from @MrSUFootball

We’re tired of all your #honoryourcontract and #disloyalidiot comments so each week the most optimistic Syracuse Football fan we know gives you his predictions. Current Prediction Record (4-2). Mr SU Football gives us his state of the program at the halfway point:

“I’ve been through more downs then ups for majority of my @CuseFootball fandom, we are two 4th down stops away from 6-0. It didn’t happen and now at 4-2 on the bye week we have to regroup. The goal is always 6 this year. The talent is getting better but young. I believe in @CoachBabersCuse that he will get us to a bowl game. Yea it’s absolute gut punch today, but I’m telling you this team will make the blood, sweat and tears worth it at the end of season. I will be in the stands again and again and it all starts with a massive game v UNC. Cmon @CuseFootball. We need you to get that 5th win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

NFL: Jacksonville Jaguars at Kansas City Chiefs Jay Biggerstaff-USA TODAY Sports

Jalen Ramsey tells us about the opponents’ QB

If you thought Jalen would keep his opinions to NFL QBs, we’re happy to announce that we got him to speak about SU’s 2018 opponents.

“Man, Derek Dungey is so forgettable, I don’t even know if he's real. Wouldn’t last two seconds as my backup’s backup in a preseason game.”

Victory Cigar Meter

10/10: Bye Week has never defeated Syracuse, but they’ve come close

Babers Viral Post-Game Locker Room Speech Meter

10/10: Some say it will be so legendary, it will short circuit every single recording device in the CNY area with it’s awe inspiring motivation.

Prediction:

This game is going to be a battle of wills. The Byes want to run, run and run some more. Can Dave Dungey outduel his “cousin” Eric? Will the Orange special teams dominance be the deciding factor? Honestly we don’t think this will be that close, Syracuse 70 Fightin’ Byes 2