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Clemson? I demand a refund!

A little schadenfreude never hurt anyone.

NCAA Football: Clemson at Syracuse Gregory Fisher-USA TODAY Sports

After Friday night’s Syracuse Orange victory, I promised a little schadenfreude at the expense of the Clemson Tigers. The ball got rolling on Sunday with the Invisible Swordsman’s “Diary of a Tiger” and I wanted to get to a bit more of it here. SB Nation also has you covered with some entertaining Clemson anecdotes that they captured.

As you may recall, our friends at Shakin the Southland provided us with “SYRACUSE? I Demand a Refund! Hate!” last week -- an instant classic in the category of humorous overconfidence. We’re far from the only Clemson opponents to receive the satirical treatment over there. But since we’re among the only opponents that have beaten them of late, we get to take a little extra victory lap around this article.

They wanted to know why the ACC didn’t keep the receipt on us. Well, we found receipts. Just not the ones they were looking for...

TNIAAM presents: Clemson? I demand a refund!

Auburn v Clemson Photo by Mike Comer/Getty Images

Seriously guys, if we’re just going to quit playing offense after getting up 2 touchdowns, we may as well just pull the starters at the end of the 1st quarter instead of going through the motions with guys we probably don’t want to get injured.

FTFY. Clemson certainly did quit this one early, but not for the reasons they assumed. After the quick first quarter score, the Tigers were blitzed into submission by an aggressive Syracuse team dead set on disrupting anything Kelly Bryant wanted to do. No, Clemson was never out of this game -- but they very well could’ve been if not for the second quarter scoop-and-score. We thank them for following through on the quitting part.

Not having a sufficient amount of testosterone to play football outside as God intended is bad enough, but to have to share an “arena” with the shooty-hoops team is an abomination. Throw in the fact that the “arena” you share should have been condemned a decade ago, and you start to piece together why Syracuse is terrible at football.

Guess that testosterone deficiency got to “y’all” in there too given what your offense looked like...

I guess the condensation from the stank hot breath of 50K (for basketball games of course, they are lucky to bring in 35K for football) mouth breathing Yankees provides a home court/field advantage.

That home court advantage served us pretty well on Friday night, if you hadn’t noticed by now...

Clemson v Syracuse Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images

Out of all the schools added to the ACC, Syracuse is the worst (with Louisville coming in a close second).

So since we beat you, does that make YOU the worst now? Or does Louisville take over that spot?

I would be shocked if ‘Cuse manages to crack the 5 win plateau this season.

I would not be.

Looking at their schedule, Wake and B.C. are the only remaining games they might have a shot at winning.

You forgot the Clemson game...

In short, by adding Syracuse, the ACC added a bunch of basketball embarrassment and a terrible football team.

Basketball embarrassment that’s been to a Final Four very recently, and a terrible football team that just beat yours.

I went out and stocked up on milk, bread, booze and batteries today, because I’m almost certain this is a harbinger of impending doom.

You were correct on this point!

Our Tobacco Road Overlords have conspired with the Yankees to ruin this football weekend. I’m more than a little upset.

This is probably fair, though your lack of production on the field had a lot more to do with that than John Swofford did...

And from the comments, my favorite snippet:

I’ll give you my real thoughts on Syracuse.

Meh, really just meh. I’m not upset that we have to play you guys, just like I’m not upset we play Kent State, B.C., Wake, and The Citadel. Sometimes you play teams that don’t have a shot at beating you.

My thoughts exactly.

It’s a good time to sit back, enjoy a beer, and maybe watch some of the younger guys get some snaps.

We did. They looked impressive.

I don’t hate Syracuse.


Honestly, I don’t even think about Syracuse. The idea that Syracuse is somehow under my skin because of a website I’ve never visited is an interesting idea, but it’s not based in reality.

Highly unlikely this is still true.

We’ll play you tonight, we’ll win in a walk over, and I won’t think about Syracuse football for another year.