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Syracuse 27, Clemson 24: Diary of a Tiger

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Join us as one man (let's hypothetically call him James S. of Western South Carolina) chronicles the emotional roller coaster that is Clemson's trip to Syracuse

Kent State v Clemson Photo by Todd Bennett/Getty Images

Thursday, October 12

9:00am - Tomorrow is the annual Syracuse cake walk! The Syracuse Orange are once again going to get drilled, and with Dabo Swinney at the helm, we'll get a chance to show the nation that there is no team that the Clemson Tigers wouldn’t be able to knock off and that includes 'Bama. It's just a damn shame it has to be on a Friday night... Dabo's right: that's High School football's night!

Dabo is the best. He understands the art of bring a nice guy when you're on the road as a visitor unlike, most of those dumb Yankee coaches from Syracuse University who go out of their way to insult whatever they can about the people. Don't worry, he'll be a gentleman as always and keep it in the 40's this year. We've got bigger fish to fry than that group of 2s and 3s from the Cuse!

10:15pm - Gonna be fun watching Clemson give Syracuse an education. Maybe they'll get 40K and "lock the doors in the Dome" to see the National Champions play. Cuse fans know less about college football than I do about nucular physics and I assure you I don't know a damn thing about nucular physics. Remember how they were all pissed that we were booing their players for faking injury?!?!? Don't they know ANYTHING about classless tactics for stopping the hurry-up spread offense? Losers.

Syracuse residents. Cheap, provincial and clueless about what happens in other places. This is what happens to the mind after too much snow and drinking Onondaga lake water!

If any fans are convinced that the Orange stands a chance against the Tigers they can get the national line for a minimum of 500 smackers per chance. All the bravado in the world is not going to beat superior talent, plus speed. Most people know and understand that on paper this will be no contest. I just trolled syracuse.com with my bet. I'll wait to get a list of people in the 'Cuse who think they can back up their thoughts with their money.

I can always use the dough.

CFP National Championship Photo by Brian Blanco/Getty Images

Friday, October 13

2:20pm - Feeling good today. Open date next week to look forward to after this exhibition. You know, sometimes you play teams that don't have a shot at beating you, and I still am pissed Swofford let these no-talent ass clowns into the ACC to dilute the quality of our product.

It's a good time to sit back, enjoy a beer, and maybe watch some of the younger guys get some snaps. We'll play them tonight, we'll win in a walk over, and I won't think about Syracuse football for another year.

6:34pm - I got an 80-inch on the wall in my Mother's house, a 40-ounce in my hand, three in the cooler, and two boxes of Hot Pockets from Publix. I'm ready!

6:43pm - Syracuse's stadium looks empty - it's not shootyhoops season, so I'm not surprised.

6:55 - Some idiots on syracuse.com decided to try and troll me on my $500 bet. I've got their names and am collecting my cash if for no other reason that to watch these weasles back out on the bet. Fair is fair, Northerners.

7:12 - Sh*t, that was a bad start. Clemson gives up a touchdown on the opening drive for the first time this season, and I burned my hand pulling the first batch of Hot pockets out of the toaster oven. FU 'Cuse. Time to play TIGER FOOTBALL!

7:18 - FEAST MODE! Feaster takes it 37 yards to the house. 7-7. EYE OF THE TIGER BOYS!!!! This 40 is drinking smoother than a Travis Etienne EtiENNED-around. Get it? It's like "end-around". Shakin' The Southland insta-rec! Damn, if I get any cleverer, I'd be a loser Cuse fan! Lol!

Clemson v Syracuse Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images

8:08 - Syracuse gonna Syracuse. An offensive pass interference call immediately followed up by a fumble returned for 6 by Tanner Muse! That's the swing we needed to turn momentum in our favor! Let's stop thinking about the open date and bury these Yankees!!!

8:35 - Took a break from the diary to finish off box one of the Hot Pockets, and nothing seems to be working tonight. Got a ton of sauce on my "A Little DABO Do Ya" tee shirt, and Mother is in Charleston for the weekend with the new stepdad at some AARP dance-event. I guess I'll just live with it.

8:46 - Crap, KB just got DDT’d by some cheap shot no class Syracuse player and needs help getting off the field.

Hey Dabo, KB's concussion is on you. Nice move Mr. Nice Guy.

9:25 - This is the first time in about four years that I legitimately think we are going to lose. Eric Dungey is on fire. Next week, he'll be hot garbage.

9:30 - Game over. Lol, well people can stop all the "who should be #1" discussion. We don't belong in the same sentence as 'Bama right now.

9:32 - TIGER RAG TIME!!! KNOTTED UP AGAIN AT 24THANKS TO a 52-yard run by ETIENNE!!

Clemson v Syracuse Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images

9:45 - Why do we attempt FGs over 25 yards? We should be running a fake on that play. Anyone with half a football brain knows that the fake shows you have faith in the offense and ain't afraid to take a chance!

9:47 - This looks like a Tommy Bowden team right now.

9:54 - Things could not be going worser, and i'm feeling sersly hammered rite now.

9:56 - These a-holes at Syr-cuse booing evry time we have a guy hurt is peeing me off! Don't they know ANYTHING about footbal? Class act Clemson fans would never do that. Loosers

10:05 - I mean not Syracuse! NOT SYRACUSE!!!!

10:11 - Fake punt??? I just threw up pepperoni in my mouth. When you have to go with fake plays, u show you have no faith in your offense.

10:24 - Somewhere, that douche Paul Finebaum is smiling.

10:35 - Stop this 3rd down or were screwed.

10:36 - We're screwed.

10:37 - AAAAAARRRRRGGHHHHH! !#)($#&%&+ F-U9E8U 4UU. Feeling light. Headed...

Saturday, October 14

11:57 am - I apparently passed out last night as Syracuse ran out the clock and woke up on the floor of Mother's basement covered in hot pockets and what appears to be my own salty tears. To make matters worse, Mother's 80inch tv is cracked with the shattered glass of my last 40oz Bud still lodged in the screen. She's going to kick me out of the house (again) and I've already got standing restraining orders in Greer and Seneca, SC. Craptastic!

I'm still in total disbelief that we lost to this douche canoe Syracuse team. This loss sucks ass. Way to ruin my fall break and football weekend Dabo.

Seriously, Dabo needs to stop being such a gentleman and a nice guy. And CONGRATULATING Syracuse afterwards? Babers played to your ego all week and it showed in the team's effort. And you go and suck up to them in their own dressing room!!!! The coaches from Syracuse looked like Nucular Physicists out there compared to you guys.

And for those loser 'Cuse fans who expect me to pay up on my $500 bet, most people know and understand that contests aren't won or lost on paper... and the same goes with bets. Just cause I can talk a big game about class and winning doesn't mean I have to back it up.

And let's face it: I can't afford to lose the dough.


(see you next year James. Go Orange!)